Of Technology and Botany
by Rasberry Jo
Summary: Ironman/Harry Potter xover; hermaphrodite!Harry/Tony; Summary inside. on hiatus.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite ****but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob manages to capture Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: I watched ironman with my best friend one day and since I'm a total uke/bottom!Harry fan I couldn't help but let my mind wonder. I was so disappointed to find no stories with this pairing. Some Tony-adopts-Harry stories, yes, but no slashy goodness. So I decided to make one myself. Though kinda-slash-kinda-not because Harry's not really a boy in this story. Could've made one with Harry staying completely male, but it just seems weird with Tony being such a skirt-chaser. Slight spoiler: Harry will definitely rein him in. No cheating on Mr. Stark's part. :D**

**PS: This story does not have a beta reader.**

**PPS: First chapter out either today or tomorrow (incase you missed, this is prologue).**

**Posted:**** 13.02.10**

Everyone has secrets. Some small… some not so small. And some are so big it defines the very person. Harry James Potter has one such secret. The only other ones who knew were his aunt and his school nurse madam Pomfrey but Harry had her sworn to secrecy so tight even an Imperious wouldn't get her to spill.

Harry sometimes thought about his parents. He didn't remember them. Not really. But he did know one thing about them. One thing no one but him knew. Or at least thought he did until his 17th birthday. Harry was absolutely certain that his parents had wanted a boy more than they wanted a girl. Why? Because the Potters had a rare opportunity to choose. You see, Harry wasn't really born a boy. Not a girl either. He was born both. A hermaphrodite.

But that belief about his parents was pushed over when he turned seventeen.

Seventeen- the age when British wizards and witches are considered adults: have voting rights and are allowed to use magic outside of school. And on the morning after that birthday Harry received official looking summons from Gringotts the wizard bank. The summons were only to Harry, but since his paranoid-from-the-beginning-of-a-war friends and allies were… well, paranoid- he wasn't allowed to go alone. Even though he had an entire _armada_ on "chaperone duty" to escort him to the bank to see what the hell the goblins wanted, he was able to get privacy to read the sealed part of his parents will. The part left for his eyes only.

That particular letter was the one to push over Harry's beliefs that his parents desired a boy more than a girl. The letter revealed that it did not matter at all. What he found out was that he had two identities. His parent had even created _two_ separate birth certificates. One for Harry James Potter, their wizard son, and the other for Helena Lily Potter, their witch daughter who lived in the muggle world. James and Lily worried that they might die, leaving their son alone with a madman trying to take over the world. So they created a backup plan. Hence why all the documents were on the ready for Harry- or rather Helena- to live comfortably among muggles.

Harry didn't know whether to be upset that his little secret about his parents that only he knew about was false, or to be happy that his parent loved both sides of him equally. Either way he was shocked and silent the entire day. That, of course, resulted his ears ringing from Hermione's bossy nagging about him keeping secrets. The girl always had issues. For a girl who always had her nose in a book, stuffing her head with useless facts, she had an amazingly narrow mind. Not to mention taste.

Harry loved Hermione, she was his friend, but GOD was she annoying! Also Harry, being a closet feminist, did _not_ approve of Hermione's image. The first few years Harry had known her he had been certain she's a dyke. But once it became clear she was not Harry couldn't help but be a little offended. Not that he liked the brainless twittering over clothes and makeup and whatnot from bleached bimbos, but he held firm beliefs that a self respecting girl simply **has to** take care of herself. Hermione's nails gave Harry the chills, her legs were unshaven (and her eyebrows could've used a trim as well), and her bushy hair didn't flatter her while loose.

Ron wasn't much better. He, like Hermione, was a loyal friend but he had jealousy and temper issues. Not to mention slightly challenged in the tact and intelligence department. Okay slightly is an understatement. He was dirty as well. He more often that not forgot to shower, always left his dirty underwear lying about (heaven bless house-elves!), didn't know any table manners, and was a bit too close in proximity even though Harry constantly reminded him that he liked his privacy.

However Ron was a guy. Even though Harry would never date a guy like him, he was still a male and Harry generally overlooked his flaws. Hermione however, try as he might Harry just couldn't get over her lack of feminine respect.

If Harry was honest with himself the ones he liked best at school were Luna and Neville. He liked Luna's eccentricities, and as weird as she was she always managed to make Harry feel better even if it was not her intention. And Neville… was the sweetest boy Harry had ever met. If it weren't for his lack of confidence Harry thought he might've actually fallen for him. Harry liked Neville so much that he didn't have the heart to do any better in herbology.

When Harry was a child he did well at school. Way better than Dudley. That only earned him extra chores and no food for two days. After that he toned down his school grades until it became habitual. After coming to Hogwarts it took him awhile to realize that the Dursleys didn't give a jack about his magical academics and if a report on his grades were to ever be sent to them they were more likely to burn it than read it. However, it was enough time to see how much comfort Neville took in being the best in herbology, even beating Hermione (which she was still sour about and still puts more effort in herbology even after 6 years), so his mediocre performance stuck.

If anyone were to ask what Harry's favorite class was, they would be looked at oddly and said to: _duh, defense against the dark art of course_. Isn't it ironic; what everybody takes for granted is a lie. Harry liked his defense classes, but it wasn't his favorite subject. His absolute, unwavering favorite always had been and always will be herbology. Actually Harry was a complete prodigy on the field (pun intended), but as said before, he became fond of Neville and such, mediocrity stayed. Neville didn't need his confidence reduced even further.

What of Harry's other classes though? At first he wasn't sure what to do about his academics, but as he did a bit of research, it became clear what this wondrous world wanted and expected of him. So he gave them what they wanted. Partly because of the Dursleys 'serve and please' policy, and partly because he just didn't feel like dealing with anymore shit than he had to.

Speaking of childhood influences, let's take a small survey at Harry's childhood. Of course Petunia had to know about Harry's gender thing. Well _someone_ had to change Harry's diaper at least _sometimes._ She kept it hidden from her husband and son though, being too ashamed that her nephew is even more of a freak than he already is in her husband's eyes. So she kept it a stern secret. Not allowing Harry to ever do anything remotely feminine. It was lucky she had no daughter, or else she might've had a stroke if Harry ever got his hands on a doll, or god forbid _a magazine_! Filled with information about _makeup_ and _fashion trends_! So Petunia started having weekly trips to hair salons to satisfy her own urges of gossip-filled life-shitters called magazines.

Poor Petunia never would've become a salonholic if she knew what happened at home while she was away. While she was getting her hair prepped with her nose buried in wonderful, soul-healing gossip and Dudley on one his playdates and Vernon at… well that varied on his mood: golf, late lunch, boxing matches, hookers. Harry was did the exact opposite of what Petunia worked so hard to prevent. At a young age Harry learned a little trick to lock and unlock his cupboard under the stairs. The few hours on one day at the end of the week were Harry's personal and only playtime. And his favorite game was in his aunt and uncle's room. Harry was crazy about dressup! He found creative ways to wear his aunt's clothes, ironically always looked cuter in them than the adult woman herself, and if he was in the mood, applied makeup. He played the game often and even though at first he looked like a little clown but as time went by he learned to apply it so that it appeared like a pro cosmetologist had used him for practice.

Once at school there was, like children always, questions what made boys boys and girls girls. Aside the obvious play and wardrobe habits, the truth came out that boys have wee-wees and girls don't. Girls had gi-gis and boys don't. Harry was surprised. Especially when competition between one girl and boy got far enough that they had to show off theirs. Harry was stumped. He was a boy, right? But boys only have wee-wees, so why is it that he seemed to have both? Being five he had no other option but to ask his aunt. That got him a slap on the cheek, a half-hour scolding and a punishment of cleaning the entire attic (which Petunia before was content to just let lay in dust and cobwebs). After that he was told that he was a boy and not to ask questions. Harry didn't believe her.

It wasn't until Harry was nine and better at reading did he finally discover the truth. He was in the library, like he always was when he wanted to get away from his family, which was pretty often. He liked to read though he never borrowed any books, just in case. It was then that he stumbled upon the biology section. Looking through a book of human anatomy he frowned very deeply when he got to the genitalia part. Neither one was him! It was like he was both and neither. Is that why his relatives always called him a freak? Because he was this anomaly? Is this why his aunt never let him be naked in front of anybody but herself?

He frowned and looked through the entire sub category of that book. Finding no answers he looked at another book, and another, and another. He was in a very bad mood and barely skimmed the text and pictures so he almost missed something interesting in one particularly heavy book. Frowning, he opened the book again. _Man, woman, hermaphrodite, whatever_. He almost shut the book again in frustration until his brain registered the third. _Wait, what? Herma-wha?_ He read the intro saying that in the animal kingdom there are some species, like seahorse or earthworms, that have no male or female but a mixture of the two, called hermaphrodites. And though rare it sometimes happened that a human is also born with two sets of reproduction organs.

GUH-LOO-REE-YAH HALL-LEEH-LOO-YAH! He wasn't a freak at all. He was just a rare happening! Feeling very good about himself he wanted to read more of his newly favorite book. Later that day Harry cooked dinner with a blush and a scrambled brain. At least he didn't need to ask aunt Petunia where babies came from and earn another empty stomach. Now the real question is: does he want to be a mummy or a daddy?

**Word count: 1875**

**Thank you for reading.**


	2. Ch1: Mummy or Daddy?

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman**** (or Corpse Bride or McDonald's). What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob captures Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: I'm trying to use British dialect when writing from Harry's POV. So to you Americans football means soccer. I'm going to keep referring to Harry as 'Harry' and 'he' when I'm writing from Harry's POV as he still thinks of himself as Harry; but 'Helena' and 'she' when on anyone else's POV because they think of him as 'Helena'. The story is pretty much canon, but Harry didn't date Ginny, and of course he didn't marry her and have babies.**

**PS: My English classes never covered where to put commas, so I'm improvising.**

**Posted:**** 13.02.10**

Harry's POV

God kill me. Hermione and Ron won't stop sending me those damn LOOKS! They look at me with their eyes almost screaming 'when are you finally going to ask her out?' and it annoys me to hell and back. Just because they got together, just like everybody expected, doesn't mean I have to start making babies with Ginny, just because everybody expects me to. I asked myself a question when I was nine. Do I want to be a mummy or a daddy? At fifteen the answer became pretty clear. _Definitely _a mummy. I have Cho Chang and her waterworks to thank that epiphany for.

I first laid eyes on her when I was thirteen. I found her to be incredibly beautiful, but not really in a sexual kind of way. When I was fifteen I kissed her. The kiss was not bad, I guess. Weird part was that even though I was attracted to Cho the kiss didn't make me feel much of anything. I went out with her once too. Thank god I did. It opened my eyes to the fact that even if I find both sexes alluring, in ways that aren't comparable, I am meant to date a man.

That was confirmed after first kissing a boy too. It happened later that same year, right after Sirius' death. The depression made me do something I never would've dared otherwise. When aunt Petunia was on her weekly beauty salon visit, I styled my school robes to look like a long black dress, stole a pair of her flip-flops, the ones she wont miss because she doesn't wear black (why buy black if you don't wear it anyway?), put on her makeup and put a hairclip into my hair in a way that kept my fringe in place, just in case. Borrowing one of her bigger handbags, I put on my invisibility cloak and went to London.

The first thing I did was convert galleons into pounds, and then buy myself a proper dress. It was a dark mossy green, no sleeves and almost reached my ankles. Then some makeup that looked better for my light olive complexion (aunt Petunia has horrible tastes anyway, _bright light blue_?!). Some boxer briefs, since I still have balls that need room and panties don't give that, and finally two bras. I had a petite body and my breasts are quite small, thank god or my secret would've been found out ages ago. Good thing that they didn't grow to B-cup until I was seventeen, and then I wasn't sleeping with a dormful of horny teenage boys.

After the emergency shopping I did I went to the ladies room and changed into the dress, took off the old makeup (damn, should've bought a real makeup remover) and put on my new very own makeup. The bigger bra was a bit too big, but the smaller pushup A-cup fit well. I finally looked like a proper girl. And I looked beautiful. I know because I've always seen a boy in the mirror and that enabled me a subjective view; my dressing up in my aunts rags doesn't count. The woman has a horrible eye, and her makeup never fit me that well either (blue isn't my color, actually it isn't hers either).

So, putting the makeshift robe-made-dress and makeup with my invisibility cloak in the bag, I left the little girls' room and found myself completely at a loss of what to do next. So I did what the Dursleys have always forbidden for me. I went to catch a movie. Didn't want a sappy chick flick, that's what my aunt always looks at home, or Hollywood action adventure violence, had enough of it at home too (Dudley's favorite). A poster of a creepy looking animated film caught my eye. Corpse Bride? Sounds interesting enough, so I guess we have a winner.

After buying the ticket and some soda I went to my seat. Next to me were two giggling girls, about a year or so older than I. They had a magazine.

"Oh my gawd, he's is just soooo hawt!"

Okay. Bimbo alert. The girl closer to me turned and caught me staring. Instead of turning back to her giggling friend like I expected of her, she gave me a wide grin and showed me the magazine.

"Isn't he just _adoowable_? He's sooo handsome and loaded to boot." She giggled.

I looked down at the magazine with lots on shots of a brown-haired, brown-eyed young man. The article stated that he's a 21-year-old young techno genius (having built his 1st engine at 6), returning to take over his late father's company from his business partner and friend Obadiah Stane.

It took a moment for me to realize that I was giggling, just like the other two. Tony Stark was very handsome.

"He… certainly has a charm to him."

The two girls burst into a new fit of giggles and I handed them the magazine back.

"I'm Abby, and this is Cindy. What's your name?"

"Harry." I replied automatically. Only when they looked at me oddly did I realize my error.

"Short for Hadriana, but everybody calls me Harry." I tried to correct my error. They seemed satisfied. After that I was pulled into a conversation about Tony Stark until the movie started. I enjoyed the movie very much. Especially the concept of the afterlife being so much better and livelier that life itself. I hope you're having a ball wherever you are, Sirius.

After the movie the girls invited me to eat with them in McDonald's. Even as the first impression was they're just two giggling bints, I must admit I was a little hasty. Or even a little hypocritical, as I was giggling just as much as they did. Anyway what was important was that we ran into Abby's twin brother Andy. He didn't care about his sister or her friend but he paid for my meal for me. He seemed patient enough, until Abby and Cindy started talking about celebrity breakups and hookups. He rolled his eyes and I got the impression that Abby had deliberately started talking about a subject that was boring for her brother.

Truthfully I was getting a little bored myself until some of Andy's buddies showed up and invited us to play some football. Damn it, why did I have to wear a damn dress!? But we went anyway. The girls didn't seem to care about the game much, they were more interested in cheering for the boys who were on the skins team.

"So, you wanna play?" Andy asked me, a flirtatious tone in his voice.

"I want to. But I just bought this dress." I answered. I really did want to play; I haven't played for five years, not since I graduated from my muggle school. I was always good at football, Dudley's fault though why I was always picked last for the teams.(1)

"Of _course_. You can sit by Abster and Cindy." He said like he was used to hearing excuses like that but never believe them.

"Seriously, Andy, I want to play." I said. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Hey An, wanna get your chick to play too? Were one guy short." Andy's friend yelled at him.

They said that it didn't matter that I wore a dress while playing.

"Alright, but only of you don't push me. I really don't want to ruin this dress."

I ended up playing on Andy's team. I don't think the boys cared that I played, but just wanted to get an even number. Just look pretty on the side of the field? Screw that, I haven't had the chance to play in five stinking years! And you know what? The other boys sucked at this! Ha! Imagine their surprise when the girl in _flip-flops_ (which were mighty uncomfortable by the way), holding the hem of her skirt so she can run, stole the ball from a guy twice her size and scored 4 goals! The end result 6-2.

Abby and Cindy had cramps from laughing and the other team sulked and went home to nurse their bruised egos. The game ended not very well though. A guy from the opposing team had enough of the humiliation and against my stated wishes deliberately pushed me into the mud. Andy, who I'm pretty sure had a crush on me, punched the guy in the nose. That started an all out fight. While the other boys were ecstatic and chanted a mantra of '_fight, fight, fight'_, I found it anything but amusing. Asking one of Andy's friends turned out to be futile. Some _fine_ examples of _Homo sapiens_. Finally I got through to them by dousing them from a big water bottle (Abby and Cindy had to help).

After that Abby and Andy took me to their apartment so I could clean myself up. They had thin walls. While I was in the bathroom I heard Abby telling Andy to ask for my damn number already. So when I got out of the loo, all dressed in my black 'dress', I thanked them for letting me use their bathroom and bid them goodbye. When I left their apartment and was about to leave, Andy ran after me and told me he'll walk with me. I bit my lip. I didn't want to start a relationship with a muggle when the war was looming on the horizon. So I did what I had been curious about for a few years now. I kissed him. I kissed a boy on the lips. And let me tell you, if there had been any shred of doubt whether I should be with a girl or a boy since the Cho fiasco, it was gone now. Especially when he kissed me back. Ooh, weak on the knees… and getting turned on, nooooot good! So I pulled away and said it's not necessary. He nodded and went back, in a slight daze. He also forgot to ask my number, thankfully.

And here I am, sitting, with Ginny making doe eyes at me and my _best_ _friends_ sending pressuring stares. I DON'T WANNA MARRY A DAMN FEMALE, DAMNIT!

3rd person POV

Eating meals with the Weasleys got more and more awkward for Harry each passing day. At first it was just Ginny looking at him with an in love look in her eyes. Then Ron got into his head that he just had to become a brother-in-law. Hermione agreed, apparently, if her stares were to go by. If that wasn't enough of a bother to Harry already, the rest of the Weasley clan seemed to develop the same idea.

Harry chewed his roast potatoes. He had just turned eighteen, the war had just ended. Ron and Hermione, much to Mrs. Weasley's dismay, made plans to buy an apartment together, and all he wanted was take his damn NEWTs and commit his time to botany. Even as he held no attraction towards Ginny, he had no plans to settle down for a few years yet.

"Would you like more peas, Harry dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked with a smile. Ginny was the one who held the bowl.

Harry sighed. There was only so much he could take. He decided to put a stop to this circus.

"Mrs. Weasley, I'm going to have to be blunt with you and your family. Really it's a bit of a joke this charade. I know you all want me to get together with Ginny. That's not going to happen. Ever. I just can't see her that way." Harry deadpanned with his face devoid of any emotions.

Everybody tensed. Ginny dropped the bowl and it broke on the floor. She ran away and you could hear her sobs before she slammed her door shut behind her. Just dandy! Ron looked pissed and Hermione had a look of disappointment. Not the kind where you see there wasn't anything to do about the matter and you accept it, but the kind where you're looked down upon. Mrs. Weasley had a very forced and cramped smile on her face that looked like a grimace.

"Of course, dear. I understand."

Like hell she did.

After that day, things didn't go well for Harry. Ron refused to talk to Harry, opting to just glare at him. Hermione always sighed and shook her head, sending annoying as hell glances at him. Ginny was behaving like a woman scorned. The rest of the Weasley clan behaved with forced friendliness. By the end of the week Harry had had enough. While Ginny, Ron, Hermione and a bunch others went to Hogwarts to finish their education and get their NEWTs come September, Harry was nowhere to be found.

Harry used his Helena identity to get a drivers license and generally practiced being a woman. He absorbed himself in learning pathology and a little of cosmetology. As said before, he had a knack for flora so combining the aforementioned with nature... He immersed himself in his private garden and experimented with different scents and allergic reaction his created perfumes had. However it was difficult to concentrate with his 'friends' having no respect for his privacy. Even as he had his own rented apartment, they simply insisted on sitting in uncomfortable silence with him. The press wasn't much better. Having his personal space thoroughly violated, Harry decided the only way to get some self-time at all was to move away. _Far _away.

So by the end of August, he had completely put his male identity on a back shelf, where it collected dust, hopefully never to be taken out again. Instead he assumed his- _her_- other identity as Lady Helena Potter, the witch who lived among muggles. With a new name came a new image. He downed a hair growth accelerator potion before going to bed one evening and woke up feeling mighty uncomfortable. While his hair reached his mid back, he couldn't close his legs because of the damn bush that grew between them. His legs reminded him of some bizarre wolfman and don't even get him started on his eyebrows and armpits. Thankfully he still had that shaving device he was given on his 17th birthday.

While his old friends boarded the scarlet train on their way to Hogwarts, Harry boarded a plane on its way to California. He was still surprised how fast and easy he got the green card. There was little in this world that money couldn't buy. Lucky Harry was from an old noble, not to mention wealthy, family. Unlike the muggle world, wizards still had quite a few aristocrats running around. Hence the title Lady.

After the plane had landed, luggage claimed, and checkpoint passed, Harry took his first step on his new homeland. Harry smiled, took a deep breath and… gave himself a thorough scolding. _Way to go genius! Next time plan ahead a few more steps and not just what's in front of you. The hell am I supposed to do now? House hunting can take months!_ Still, there was nothing else to do besides hail a cab and ask to be driven to a hotel nearest to a real-estate bureau. After settling in his room at a 4-star hotel, he headed out and started his quest on house hunting.

It was a PAIN! The agent, after discovering he was dealing with real live nobility, started showing him various villas and mansions, which surprisingly there seemed to be no shortage of in Malibu. Still, it was not what Harry needed at all.

"Really, don't you have a slightly smaller house? With more ground maybe? A garden?" Harry pleaded after two weeks of no luck. His own specific tastes surprised him. He thought he would be happy with just about anything after Grimmuald Place, but it just didn't seem right.

The agent was at his wits end as well. He was desperate not to lose the prestigious client, so as they say: desperate times call for desperate measures. Harry was a little reluctant when he was driven slightly out of the city and to what looked to be a pointless wasteland. He was shown a modestly sized house that looked like it was over two hundred years old.

"The house is old, but the plot is big. The lands reach from here to there to that mountain." Said the agent who felt like slicing his wrists. He had taken this Lady, who clearly had very refined needs, to this old piece of crap in the middle of nowhere. What the hell had he been thinking?!

"This is… perfect." Harry said after only looking at the house once.

"R-really?!" The agent was baffled. _This_ was what the Lady wanted?

"The house will have to be remodeled. But it's what's behind the house that's precious." Harry smiled.

"But there's nothing there, milady."

"Exactly."

Two years passed and Harry celebrated his 20th birthday alone. Well sort of alone. The house had quickly been remodeled. Something that Harry did by himself with the help of magic, with plenty of plants potted in each room. The plants were Harry's guards actually. While looking innocent enough, the tentacles were not to be messed with, and considering how several were planted in _every_ room of the house, including bathrooms, the house was a fort in disguise.

However if you were to visit, the house itself would be the furthest thing from your mind. Probably because of the _humongous_ greenhouse looming behind it. Easily five times the size of the house itself, it even had three different levels. Kreatcher, disguised as a butler, wasn't a pushover either.

The greenhouse was exactly where Harry spent his birthday. Some of the plants he had had sentient consciousness and were nice to hang out with. With Kreatcher serving tea and the seedlings cooing Harry relaxed and admired the bottle on his hand.

"Well, these little sweethearts are finally in the market. You think they'll sell good?"

Harry had finally created the perfect perfume made only of flora.

"How can it not, mistress?" Kreatcher creaked with a grin "No one knows plants better than mistress."

Harry smiled at Kreatcher, the little flatterer.

"Mistress has an invitation, mistress."

"Invitation, Kreatcher?"

"Yes, mistress. To a party of sorts, mistress."

"Let me see, Kreatcher."

Kreatcher handed him the invitation. Harry took one look at the invitation.

"Please send my decline, Kreatcher. I have no desire to go to a movie star's birthday bash. Sending an invitation to a stranger. Seems like a shallow person."

"Mistress should go out and have fun sometimes, mistress. Kreatcher sees her poor mistress getting lonely. Kreatcher thinks mistress should find a husband."

It wasn't the first time Kreatcher had told him that.

"True, I should probably go out a bit more often, but the only way I would go to a stranger's party is if it were a charity event, or _maybe_ a fundraiser. But a person who's just looking for more publicity or trying to get some can can it. Besides I have more work to do."

Besides perfumes, Harry was also working on the medical field. He started out small, of course. A better cough medicine was his first achievement. Trying to sell it though turned out to be a bit of a pain, as he had no papers to prove his professionalism. However as the drug was tested it was proof enough that he was the real deal. After that he looked for other ways to cure other ailments. He thought about developing a new vaccine, but discarded the idea. He distrusted vaccines and preferred to fight illnesses instead of trying to prevent them. He really had it against to plan ahead.

"Mistress has another invitation as well, mistress. And mistress said she'll attend fundraising charity, mistress did."

"Charity? What kind of charity?"

"Hospitals needs new and better equipment, they does. Needs money for that, mistress."

"Hospital fundraiser?"

"Yes, mistress. It is said many important medical noses will attend, mistress. Mistress should attend." Kreatcher kept egging Harry to go. Harry smiled at the house-elf.

"If I were to find a husband, Kreatcher, I'd like him to be a bit closer to my own age, which I doubt the doctors you want me to meet are. I shall attend however."

Kreatcher, in his butler disguise, drove to the fancy looking fundraiser-charity thingy with Harry sitting on the back seat. Harry was slightly nervous. So far he had managed to stay out of the public eye. Even when he first moved here he wasn't really hogged by the paparazzi despite being a British aristocrat moving to the states. However, with his new perfume _Tentacula_ (kinda ominous name, but Venomous Tentacula _was_ the main ingredient) released, and with his success in the medical field despite it only been a year and a half since his first deposit, Harry feared he will be hot news and be stripped of his peaceful solitude he had grown accustomed to.

Kreatcher opened the door for him. As soon he stepped out- a flash of light! Yay, not even one minute and someone shot a picture. Hopefully it was because of the limo. It didn't cross Harry's mind that it was because he looked stunning. He was aware that he looked beautiful, just not how beautiful. Walking up to the gala, he noticed he got plenty of attention. A waiter offered him champagne, but he refused. He wasn't 21 yet.

"Good evening, miss." A voice said.

Harry turned to a man that looked about sixty or so.

"Dr. Roger D. Counts, PhD and a pathologist. I was wondering whether you'd like to join me and some of my friends on our table."

He better not think Harry was there as spread legs, like a lot of gold diggers there. Still, he didn't know what else to do here anyway. And pathology was something that was within Harry's area of expertise.

"That would be lovely Dr. Counts." Harry said with a charming smile. He was about to introduce himself but the doctor was already pulling him towards the table.

Harry found the good doctor a little too smug. He pulled the chair for Harry at least. But Harry still felt uneasy. Especially since the other young women accompanying the doctor's friends all looked like gold diggers on the market for new sugar daddies, if the way they clung to the older men's arms was any indication.

"_Woow,_ really? It's called a cell? Like a phone?" Was that woman for real? What the hell had she been doing in high school?

But the part Harry liked the least weren't the women with dangerously low IQ, or how he was immediately taken as one of them, but that no one asked his name. It was like it was normal for men to use nameless women at random and discard of them later when they get boring.

The last of Harry's patience however ran out when Dr. Counts rudely put an arm around Harry and said.

"Why don't you scurry over and give papa some sugar, toots."

Oh that did it. So Harry did exactly what the man asked. He took a bowl of sugar and dumped it all over his face.

"There's some sugar for you, Dr. Tactless." Harry said and gracefully left the table leaving the spluttering man and wide eyed bimbos behind. Maybe he should reconsider dating women. Being a father probably wasn't that bad.

"That was some show you made." A voice from behind said.

Harry turned his head to see an incredibly handsome man that looked vaguely familiar.

"Chivalry is dead. A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do in a world with no gentlemen." Harry stated.

"Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries." The man introduced with a crooked grin while offering his hand which Harry took.

"And what might be the name this delicately gorgeous young lady?"

"Lady Helena Potter, an aristocrat and a biologist."

Harry couldn't even start to describe the smug joy he felt when a look of utter surprise crossed the man's face.

"And he still treated you like that?"

"Maybe he would not have, had he actually had the tact to ask for my name."

10 minutes ago.

Tony was bored. There were plenty of nice young ladies walking around but no one captivated him tonight. That's what usually happened when he started an interesting new project: all he wants to do is to get back home behind the tinkering table. Tonight it would have to take a very special kind of woman to distract him from his thoughts of work.

"Too much partying, Tony? Feeling tired from having too much fun?" Chuckled Obadiah, who was far from oblivious about Tony's dilemma.

"Just the company, Obie. Just want something fresh and… Who is that?"

Tony was quickly distracted by a black haired goddess with burning emerald eyes. Granted she wasn't wearing a particularly revealing garment, but the slender curves left little to the imagination.

"The one with the red dress? Never seen her before. Looks young enough, might be her first party of this caliber around here."

"Most likely, I think I would've remembered a face such as hers. Excuse me." Tony said and handed Obadiah his martini glass.

He was about to go and introduce himself when a doctor, who wasn't exactly in his first youth- or second, beat him to it and snagged the goddess to himself. Obadiah gave a laugh and handed him back his martini glass.

"Well that was fast. Better luck next time, old boy."

"What do you mean 'next time'? I steal girls away from geezers like them all the time."

"Yes I know. Because of your monetary stature and good looks I've seen you say 'Hey you, come with me' to a girl who's already taken while having others already hanging off your arms(2). You have it way easy, Tony. One day you're gonna meet a girl whose standards are too high for even you."

"I have and her name is Pepper, remember? But I don't think it'll come to that, Obie. She looks uncomfortable."

Obie glanced at the table and saw that Tony was right. The pretty young woman didn't look like she was having fun. Rather she looked like she was sitting with something that died two month ago. It was a wonder why no one else from the table seemed to notice. The icing of the cake, however, was when the man put his arm around the woman and said something so lame Tony and Obadiah had to roll their eyes. Scratch that, the icing was when the woman threw a bowlful of sugar at the man. Tony hadn't been that amused in a while.

"There's your cue." Said Obadiah and took Tony's glass again.

Tony walked over with a smirk.

"That was some show you made." He told her and watched her twirl around to face him. She looked even more beautiful up close. Taking a closer look at her he saw that her almond-shaped green eyes were slightly slanted, giving her a unique feline look.

"Chivalry is dead. A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do in a world with no gentlemen." She said with no humor in her British accented voice. It was clear that she didn't like being disrespected. Made her even cuter in Tony's book.

"Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries." He introduced expecting her to start spluttering, then flirting, like any other woman that didn't recognize him straight away. When she didn't he was only mildly surprised. She was a lady after all.

"And what might be the name this delicately gorgeous young lady?" He prompted, feeling curious. She's probably the daughter of some rich snooty businessman so he should recognize her last name.

"Lady Helena Potter, an aristocrat and a biologist."

Okay, he wasn't expecting that. When he said lady he didn't mean literally.

"And he still treated you like that?" The temporarily tongue-tied Tony said when nothing else seemed to come up.

"Maybe he would not have, had he actually had the tact to ask for my name."

"His loss then, I suppose." _'And my gain'_ Tony grinned after regaining his cool.

"If you mean his loss about having a conversation about pathology, then yes, but no if you mean about bedding me." Helena's eyes narrowed. Fiery.

"About the conversation, of course."

Smooth lie, Tony had every intention of bedding this little vixen tonight himself.

"Would you like to have a drink with me?"

"I can't drink."

Tony raised an eyebrow. What was she a heath nut? One drink won't kill anyone.

"I'm twenty."

Ah, so that's it.

"Oh, what can one drink do? I'm buying."

And she smiled.

"That's very generous of you Mr. Stark, but I'm still going to have to decline."

"What are we on a business deal? Call me Tony, no need to be so formal, this is a party not a funeral. So, as you insist on not drinking, how about a dance with me."

"That sounds pleasant, Mr. Stark. I mean Tony."

They ended up dancing until it was time for the entertainment to start. Tony invited Helena to sit on his reserved table, with Obadiah and him. She seemed happy to accept. She hit it off quite well with Obadiah too. In a platonic way. And that was the problem. She seemed to be platonic with everybody, including Tony. In fact he was starting to doubt whether he would actually be able to get laid tonight.

She was interesting to talk to though. Because since she was a botanist he doubted she understood anything about design. He was wrong. It amazed Tony how different but similar his area of expertise and hers can be. While his designs were very specific and you have to know exactly what to do, the risk factor only came in when the actual testing came in. That was true on her field as well, however unlike in technology you can't be 100% sure how your design can turn out. While in technology you'll either fail or succeed, in botany it can be anything in between, because you can never be sure what happens next as the newly bred plant grows and matures no matter how good your math is, hence the risk always there. And that's only the first part, what you can concoct from the produce is a different era altogether.

One thing became very clear to both Obadiah and Tony: Helena was just as brilliant with plants as he was with technology.

Obadiah, being ever-curious about abroad upperclassmen, couldn't help but ask.

"So, is there a Lord Potter somewhere? I would think a father would feel very protective if their daughter was such a beauty."

"Of course there is, Mr. Stane. He's back at England, six feet under along with my mother. Just as they have been for the past nineteen years."

Obadiah looked as uncomfortable as Tony felt, but still couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"What happened?"

_Way to go Obie!_ Tony glowered, but Helena didn't look offended.

"Assassination: gas explosion."

"That's an interesting necklace." Tony said, desperate to change the subject.

"Thank you, Tony. I designed it myself." Helena said with a smile.

"I thought you were into botany." Obadiah said in confusion.

"I _am_." She replied with a smile.

Obadiah and Tony took a closer look at the necklace. It was a plant! It was a red branch that grew out of a small pot disguised as a big ruby. The branch was snaked around her neck and the tip was curled around the base where it grew out of. The branch had barbs, all of which seemed to grow on one side as not to blemish her skin.

"She likes skin heat, but doesn't like being touched." Helena explained the odd way the barbs seemed to grow.

"Unlike a lot of other plants, she doesn't get scared easily, so if you get too close, it'll actually try to sting you."

Being curious, Tony moved his hand close. The plant twitched, but couldn't quite reach his hand.

"That's impressive, Lady Helena. You could make quite a profit for yourself if you let it to the ma…" Obadiah was cut off.

"No." She said adamantly. At the look of surprise that crossed his face she explained.

"As you may have guessed, I'm a bit of a tree-hugger. As pretty as these jewelry-plants are, they're also rather delicate. An average person couldn't take care of them and I don't want to sell them as a one-time jewelry."

The party carried on and soon the glow of the dawn could be seen. A lot of money had been donated, champagne drunk, food eaten and sex had. Except for Tony. He was however quite amazed at how good of a time one can have without it involving the exchange of bodily fluids. But that didn't mean he didn't want to get her into his bed. So he invited her to his place.

"That's very kind of you, Tony, but I'm tired and I'd like to go home."

Translation: I will not have sex with you tonight. Damn.

"Of course. Can I have your number?"

Tony was surprised that he actually had to ask. Usually women would slip him their numbers all by themselves.

"Yes, I suppose you can, Tony." Helena said with a smile.

"Great. So… goodnight Helena."

Tony leaned to kiss her, but Helena turned her head.

"Wait! Before you get any ideas, Tony. I don't do one-night stands. I don't approve of infidelity either."

With that she sat in her limo and drove off. Looking behind him he saw the wide-eyed multi-billionaire standing in a stunned stillness. Helena let out a giggle and turned to sit normally.

"Did mistress have fun, mistress?" Kreatcher asked from behind the wheel.

"I must admit, Kreatcher, I'm thoroughly glad I went out tonight."

That Stark was definitely a fine human specimen. Although Harry would never date a guy with commitment issues, after meeting Tony he had to ask himself a question: why did he _ever _doubt whether he wanted to be a mummy or not?

**(1)**** - That's actually canon. Rowling said that Harry wasn't bad at sports, but because of Dudley he always got picked last.**

**(2) – Look at Ironman's deleted scenes. It actually happened.**

**Word count:**** 5726**

**Thank you for reading.**


	3. Ch2: Bonds of Friendship

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman (or Corpse Bride or McDonald's). What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob captures Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: I have the general plot for this story in my head. I'm going to have to wait for IRONMAN2 to see if I'm going to add it to this story or not. Either way it's not going to mess up with the what I have planned. Also I've only posted a new chapter so early because I wanted to get the ball rolling. ****If things go according to plan, I will be updating weekly.**

**PS: Cookies and cider to everyone who can guess why**** I've named Harry Helena. Can anyone guess? Hint: Helena's extremely beautiful.**

**Posted:**** 15.02.10**

Obadiah and Pepper were used to Tony's lack of respect for schedules. But that didn't mean had to like it when he didn't show up on a board of director's meeting with absolutely no warning whatsoever. So the only thing they could do was directly confront him. Wasn't hard to do, since there were only two things he could have been doing at that time, and both of them would take place in his house.

Walking into the living room they heard music blaring from the downstairs workshop. Well that ruled out option A- sex; and only left option B- work.

Pepper tipped in the code and they entered Tony's adult playpen. They saw him work on a project with harsh movement which usually meant…

"Ah, so she didn't live up to your expectations? It's a shame when such beautiful women are cold in bed. So she wasn't satisfying, huh?" Obadiah said with a knowing smirk, while Pepper just stood emotionless, used to the two men's sexist ways.

Tony turned to look at Obadiah with an annoyed expression. What surprised both Pepper and Obadiah was that the annoyance was actually directed at Obadiah, not the girl that failed to please. As it had always been.

"And how should I know?" Tony sulked.

"You didn't…? She didn't…!"

Obadiah's facial muscles went slack for a moment. And he started roaring with laughter. One of Tony's lower eyelids started twitching in annoyance. Pepper was just standing, too shocked to know how to act.

"What exactly is so funny to you?" Tony grumbled.

"You! You're sulking because there was one girl that refused to sleep with you. Oh, that's precious." By now Obadiah was wiping tears of mirth from his cheeks.

"She gave me her number." Tony tried to save face, his ego being already as bruised as it was, but that only served to amuse Obadiah more than he already was.

"Anyway, Mr. Stark, we came here to see why you missed to board of director's meeting…" Pepper started.

"Which is pretty obvious now!" Obadiah just couldn't help but cut in.

"Stuff it, Obie." Tony grumbled while twisting a handkerchief in frustration. When that failed to soothe his nerves he threw it away.

"Tony Stark, playboy extraordinaire, couldn't get a girl he spent an entire party with into his bed!"

"She's a fucking lady, Obadiah. She has very high standards."

"Yes, too high for you, apparently."

"Would you cut that out, already!?"

After the fundraiser gala Tony wasn't in a good mood. Actually he felt downright depressed. Is this how guys who got kicked to the curb by girls always felt. He tried to sleep but couldn't stop his brain from working. So he decided it would be more constructive to work.

As he got dressed his gaze fell on his cell. He picked it up and opened the phonebook. His eyes skimmed Helena's name for a moment. Next thing he knew the phone was clattering against the wall. Taking a deep breath for calming effects he left to work. Work was good; it always took his mind off things. Well, there's a first time for everything.

Tinkering did nothing to distract him; however it did help him relax a bit. That was until Obadiah and Pepper showed. Oh, the meeting? He had completely spaced out on that. And now, Obadiah's laughing grated on Tony's nerves making him want to strangle something- preferably Obadiah. This would not have happened had Helena just slept with him! Well, that's settled then. The answer to Tony's problems was to get Helena to do just that. But first he needed a shower.

Unlike Tony, Harry had a very fulfilling slumber. When he woke up he felt rejuvenated and full of energy. Going through his morning routines he practically skipped to the greenhouse. Today he felt like working in the polar zone. The polar department was basically a refrigerator as some of the flora only flourished in cold temperatures. Actually he had a magma zone as well. Both of them hidden underneath the greenhouse, in a secret sublevel.

"Good afternoon, mistress. Did mistress have a good sleep?"

"Wonderful, Kreatcher. A night out can really do wonders to a person. Do you have the tea ready, yet?"

"Yes, mistress, Kreatcher will bring it right away, mistress."

Already starting on the research Harry should've expected Kreatcher to bring a magazine along with his tea. While Harry usually only read news and left the gossip to do whatever, whenever Kreatcher brought him something different than news it meant that he was mentioned. Taking the sad excuse of journalism with a frown he opened it and skimmed through trying to find where he was mentioned. His good mood returned when he saw he was only showed as a positive fashion statement. He did look rather pretty on the picture. 'Modest yet elegant' they said. Thankfully his name wasn't mentioned.

"Lemon with your tea, mistress."

"Sounds delightful, Kreatcher."

Tony was about to dial the number to call Helena but was stopped by an unexpected snag. He had no idea what to say. That was something that had never happened before. Usually women would do what he wanted them to do without him even needing to say anything, but this one was different. She made him feel like he was thirteen-year-old with a first crush. How pathetic.

So the call was postponed for a few days until he decided to invite her to a casino of all things. Gambling had always helped him relax; even if he lost. And he was so strung up he had almost no other choice.

The call was awkward. It was an old man who answered, making Tony feel like he was a teenager calling a girl but her overprotective father answered making him want to hang up and try again later, but as Tony was a grown man he asked to talk to Helena no matter how uncomfortable he felt. After the stress filled days and restless nights Helena's voice sounded like one of an angel's. But that didn't make Tony feel any better when Helena informed him she had never been to a casino because she wasn't of legal gambling age yet. That made him want to bang his head against something hard.

"I suppose it's fine though if I just hang off your arm and watch you play. I don't like gambling myself anyway." How it that simple words can make one man feel so much better?

Agreeing on the time and place Tony left a bit earlier- he needed to unwind a little. On his way out of the house he ran into Rhodey.

"Hey, Rhodey." He greeted.

"Tony. Wha'cha been up to lately? I haven't seen you in awhile." His expression said something else. Tony narrowed his eyes.

"Obadiah told you, didn't he?" He accused.

Rhodey adopted an overly innocent look.

"Told me what?"

"He did, didn't he?"

That's when Rhodey's already bad pokerface failed. His mouth drawled into a wide grin and couldn't hold back a giggle.

"I just had to see for myself. The first time our Tony got a rejection. Priceless."

"It wasn't a rejection. In fact I'm going out to see her right now." Rhodey's eyes widened.

"Really? You're going on a date with her? But still, she refused to sleep with you, that's a first for you, right?"

"I'm planning on correcting that mistake."

"Going to pick her up?"

"No, she insisted on coming by herself. She's as stubborn as a mule too."

They left for the casino together. Not that Tony invited him but because Rhodey insisted. He was rather anxious to meet the woman with such a high self esteem that she dissed _Tony_. Rhodey was certain she must be pretty; otherwise the bachelor wouldn't even bother. But from he heard she's from Britain so she can't be _that_ pretty.(1)

Arriving at the casino Tony made a beeline for the poker booth. However after the 1st game he quit as even if his pokerface was near perfect Rhodey was standing right behind him. Seriously, that guy needed an iron mask to play the game. Taking a safer route of slot machines they were able to have a conversation, which made Tony think it would be a smarter idea to play craps as Rhodey wouldn't stop asking questions about Helena.

As ladies gathered around Tony when he rolled the dice Rhodey leaned against a column a few steps back, looking at Tony plundering a part of his fortune.

"Quite a character, isn't he? Are you a friend of his?" He heard someone say.

Rhodey turned his head to see an incredibly beautiful woman. She was wearing a white blouse with a dark grey feminine waistcoat and a dark green skirt that reached past her knees. They were very form fitting. She didn't look like the standard females that wore overly revealing dresses these days.

"Tony? Yeah, he's a good friend of mine. He's supposed to meet some British chika that took a chunk out of his ego when she didn't give into him. Colonel James Rupert Rhodes." Rhodey extended his hand in greeting.

_A British chika that took a chunk out of his ego_? Harry could only do so much not to burst out laughing. Apparently the colonel hadn't noticed his accent. He smiled and took the man's offered hand.

"Pleasure." Harry purred. He couldn't help it, his tone changed according to his moods and right now he was in a very good mood. Though Harry never noticed it ever happen and thus was oblivious that he did things like that.

Before Rhodey could ask for his name or do anything else for that matter Harry had taken a slow stride past him with his hand slowly sliding away from the colonel in a rather seductive manner. Again it wasn't done on purpose. Harry just couldn't help acting this way while in a content mood. Not that he actually could since he was not aware of what he did. Rhodey, not in a slight daze, followed her as she walked towards Tony.

Tony was having some luck with his craps game. Unfortunately it was bad luck, so like a prayer being answered…

"You look like you could use a turn of luck."

Turning to look at the stunning goddess that miraculously appeared next to him Tony offered her his hand in which the dice were.

"A goddess such as yourself shouldn't have any problem with turning my luck around. Care to help this poor little mortal?"

Helena moved her lips to Tony's hand and blew sensually. Tony shivered, that felt very different. This woman was something else. Not even looking at the table he rolled and got a seven.

Harry felt like biting her lip. His good mood relaxed his magic and he had accidentally cast a good-luck-charm on Tony. And from the way Tony shivered he had felt it as well. Thankfully muggles tended to come up with the silliest of excuses to dismiss magic. In Britain it was illegal to use any type of luck magic in gambling anywhere, punishable from fines to imprisonment. In America however it was okay if you used magic in muggle casinos, no one cared, but you were definitely in trouble if you used it in a casino owned by a wizard. The tricky part was that you can never be sure whether the owner was a muggle or not.

"And she blessed me with her divinity. I see you met Rhodey, Helena." He said looking behind her. For some reason Rhodey looked just about ready to faceplant on the ground.

"Uh, yeah, well anyway, I just remembered I have some… stuff to do. Yeah, so… I gotta go." With that he turned tail and fled.

Tony thought it odd that Rhodey left so soon especially since before he was annoying as hell pestering him about wanting to meet Helena. Oh, well, in the end that's only better for Tony. Taking another roll of the dice it came eleven. Okay, Helena was _really_ his lucky charm.

Two hours later Tony walked out of the gambling hell quite a few million dollars richer than he was walking in. Scratch what he thought about Helena being his lucky charm; she was really his luck goddess!

"So, how was your first impression of an evening spent in a casino?"

"Not too overly shabby. You even didn't act like a man whose ego had been bruised earlier."

"What?"

"Nothing, just something your friend said earlier."

"Who, Rhodey? What did he say?"

"Something about me being a British chick who took a strike at your ego by rejecting you or something like that."

_I'm going to kill you, Rhodey!_ Tony yelled internally. Suddenly the colonel's discomfort earlier made a lot of sense. Helena, however, looked more amused than anything else.

"Would you like to have a late dinner with me, Helena?" Tony asked, not feeling comfortable with what was so funny to Helena.

"Thank you, Tony, I _am_ rather hungry. Would you like to eat out or visit my home? My cuisine is quite unique though. We should also stay out if you crave meat tonight."

Visit's a beautiful woman's home. How can he refuse? So twenty minutes later they were pulling up by Helena's house. Tony was next to his car and just stood staring at the house, or rather what was behind the house.

"Different from what you expected?" Helena asked with her usual smile.

"My house is filled with technology that's more advanced than what you'll find even in technologically advanced companies. I guess I should've expected this."

Helena laughed.

"I can give you a small detour of some parts of the greenhouse later if you wish."

"Some parts?"

"Some of the plants are dangerous to you. Or you are dangerous for them. Either way it's not a good idea to go into a close proximity. So how about that dinner?"

They ended having dinner in the greenhouse. While the spot where they sat was illuminated Tony could see from the unlit part of the greenhouse the bioluminescent glow of certain plants in the distance. What on earth was Helena doing in here?

The butler with the weird name-_Creature?!-_ came and served what looked like to be a bowl of fruits. This was the dinner? The fruit looked downright weird to begin with.

"You don't have to be so skeptical, Tony. These fruits are my personal creation and really quite satisfying, if I do say so myself. Very filling as well, this is why there's nothing else much. I told you my cuisine's rather unique."

"Fair enough."

Tony took a dragon fruit shaped fruit that Tony couldn't decide was red or purple. He took a skeptical bite and let out a surprised moan. It was the most delicious fruit he'd ever tried.

"Like it? I'm glad. They're an absolute _pain_ to grow, sadly. Wilt extremely easily. A snag I'm trying to work around. A few bushes of these sweethearts and world hunger would decrease quite dramatically."

"We all try to do our part to help. This, however, is out of this world!"

"Thank you, Tony. That means a lot."

"You know, this qualifies as home cooking since technically you made this… This is the first time I've had home made food."

Harry's eyebrow's raised.

"How come? What about your mother? Didn't she ever cook?"

"She wasn't a particularly maternal woman. My dad was already wealthy when he and Maria met. So being the dutiful gold-digger she was, she seduced him, and had me as a security policy. Not much to tell."

"And your dad?"

"We were a lot closer and we loved each other, I guess, but he was a bit of a workaholic so he didn't have too much time for me. If I hadn't been such a techno-whiz I don't know how much time we would've spent time together at all."

Tony didn't know why he started talking about what was such a sensitive subject for him, but it felt nice. Helena was a good listener.

"And after they perished?"

"It was ironic. I was seventeen back then, just graduated from MIT. Dad said he was proud of me; Maria looked bored and didn't seem to know why she had to be there in the first place and eventually she made a slight scene about it. Dad was furious with her. He said sorry and dragged her to the car and left me standing there in my graduation robes. It was his angry driving that caused the accident. They both died that day."

Something wet slid down Tony's face. He lifted his hand to his face and was surprised to see tears. He was crying? Two arms encircled his torso and turned to see Helena give him a hug. They sat in silence for several minutes.

"Well, enough about me. Your turn to spill your guts. What happened to you after your folks died? You were just a baby back then, right?"

"Yeah, I was. Since my father's side had all perished I was sent to the only living relatives I had left: my mother's sister and her husband and son. Neither of them liked me very much."

"I find that hard to believe, Helena."

"Jealousy is an ugly thing, Tony. My aunt was very jealous of my mother for several reasons. For one thing my mother was uncommonly beautiful, while she looked rather plain. Actually, by looking at them you would've never guessed they were even related. And of course she was smarter and far more popular then her. To add insult to injury just as she thought she'd at least beat her sister by marrying a moderately successful businessman with a house on the suburbs, she found out her sister's marrying a _Lord_, with an actual mansion. There's one other reason, which is probably the biggest reason of all, but that's a secret and I can't share it with you."

Tony never had any siblings, but after that he was thoroughly grateful.

"My childhood wasn't a very happy one. They didn't downright abuse me, I guess, but they did neglect and sometimes 'forgot' to feed me. My days were generally filled with chores such as cooking, cleaning and gardening. The money that was donated from my trust fund was all used on their overly obese son. Only some of the stuff he didn't want anymore was given to me, and that included clothes too. I didn't look particularly cute either as he was about five times my size despite being only a few months older."

Tony felt like shit. This seemingly innocent and pure woman next to him had been through more crap than anyone he knew. He felt uncomfortable listening to this story but didn't want to actually say so, so he was grasping at straws.

"I suppose it is clear then where you get your good looks."

Helena laughed.

"Actually I'm a spitting image of my father."

"Must've been a cosmically beautiful man then." Tony took a crack, trying to get Helena to laugh again. He succeeded.

Suddenly Helena stood up and took Tony's arm, pulling him up.

"C'mon, I want you to meet them."

"Meet who?"

"My parents."

Helena pulled one very confused Tony back into the house and through the hallways into what looked to be a sitting room. Once there Helena pointed at a painting above the mantelpiece.

"James and Lily." She said.

Tony looked at the painting of two people. A redheaded woman and a man whose dark hair was the messiest he's ever seen. Helena was right, she looked like her father, but the eyes were different. She had the same slightly catlike green eyes as her mother. Undeniably Helena's mother was a very beautiful woman, but in Tony's opinion her beauty paled in comparison of her daughter's.

Tony didn't stay, she didn't ask and he didn't insist, so he left for home that night.

The next morning Harry woke up feeling calm once more. He went through his usual morning routines, had breakfast, went to the greenhouse and waited for Kreatcher to bring him his tea and paper. He was quite surprised to find another magazine among the usual. And this time it wasn't as innocent as the fashion statement before.

There were pictures of him and Tony on the night they met: dancing, talking and just sitting next to each other on the same table. It looked innocent enough. But the other pictures of the night before weren't as innocent-looking. There were different shots taken of them in the casino and the way Harry was standing close to Tony with his hands caressing Tony's arm looked less than platonic even to Harry himself. However what got Harry _really_ annoyed was the fact that there was a picture of him and Tony in front of his house! That kind of violation of privacy was the reason why he left England in the first place! Then, of course, was the gossip about the nature of his and Tony's relationship. There were speculations that he was just another one-nighter, but there were also the ones that claimed that it was a bit more long-lasting romance since the only other woman Tony was seen together more than once was Pepper and she was on payroll! The cherry on top of the violation of Harry's privacy was, of course, a complete survey of who Lady Helena was and, of course, her achievements. The only part Harry found at least partly amusing were subtle praises to Tony for aiming high.

"Mistress has a phone call, mistress."

Kreatcher cut through the daze Harry fell into after reading the article. Harry took a look at the house-elf in disguise and accepted the phone.

"Hello?"

"Helena? Hi, it's Tony."

"Oh, hi."

"Something the matter? You sound a little down."

"It's nothing, just a petty annoyance that can be dealt with later. So, what's up?"

"Well, since I saw your place, I thought it's only fair you'll see mine too."

"So, you're basically inviting me over?"

"That's pretty much it."

"Okay where do I come to?"

Tony gave Harry the directions. Harry had noticed Tony admiring his fluorescent plants the day before and decided to take a potted fern to him as a gift. Opting to take a car by himself and not the limo, he saddled up the plant and bid Kreatcher goodbye.

Tony greeted him outside. Harry stood out of the car and surveyed Tony's house.

"Wow. It's very… futuristic."

Tony smiled but his smile turned into confusion when Helena handed him a fern of all things. Would've thought that if she would've brought him a plant of all things it would've been a bit more exotic and not something that you can get in every flower shop by yourself.

"I saw how you liked the fluorescent plants at my greenhouse yesterday, so I thought I'd give you one for your home. Something simple that even _you_ can take care of." There was a slight teasing tone in her voice.

"This thing glows in the dark? I wondered why you would bring me something so common while you have a mansionful of unique plants lying about."

Tony led Harry into the living room where Harry admired the beautiful interior decoration.

"Welcome, Lady Potter." A voice said out of nowhere making Harry squeak and jump. He hadn't sensed anyone in the house besides themselves. At least anyone with a soul and there was no magic anywhere either.

"That's Jarvis. He runs the place, sort of like a butler that doesn't have its own body."

"What is he, a robot or something?"

"Well, yes, if you think of the house as the aforementioned robot."

"And you're the one who created that program?"

"Who else?" Tony sounded rather smug.

They sat down and chatted a bit until Harry noticed the same magazine on the table that gossiped about him and Tony.

"Did you read that?" Harry asked. Tony followed Harry's gaze and saw the magazine.

"Oh, yeah. Interesting theories, right?""

"Simply fascinating. Are you going to make a statement about it?"

"Maybe. But what should I say?"

"The truth of course. That we're just friends."

Tony blanched a little.

"Is that what we are?" He asked.

"Aren't we?" Harry asked back.

Losing his cool Tony did something that _no man_ with _any_ experience with women would _ever_ ask.

"Are you even attracted to me at all?"

Harry was slightly taken aback at the blunt question.

"I'd have to be both stupid and blind to not find you attractive, Tony."

"So, what's holding you back?"

"I've already told you that once already. There are two factors. One: I don't do one night stands; and second: I can't stand infidelity. You may be interested enough to stay by me for awhile, but you will get bored and start to cheat. Up until you will lose any kind of interest you once held and we'll drift apart and become strangers."

Tony didn't want to admit it, but Helena was most probably right.

"So you're saying you'd never date me."

"Actually, no. I'd like to date you, but you're too… young."

"_Young?_ I'm over five years older than you!"

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is that the time is too soon; you're feeling too young to commit. _Maybe_ once you're ready to settle we can give it a go."

Tony was quiet for awhile and then said.

"So for now we'll stay as friends who are attracted to each other. That correct?"

Helena gave Tony one of her dazzling smiles he's quickly becoming very fond of.

"Sounds just about right."

She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek.

When Pepper first heard that there was a woman out there that said no to Mr. Stark, she thought it might have been a sign of the apocalypse, but when she heard him say that they're _just friends_ she became sure of that fact. That is until she actually met Lady Helena and got to know her a little better.

She was picking up some takeout Mr. Stark had asked from her when she was on her way to bring some documents that needed to be signed, one thing that you still can't do through a computer. And that's when she first met her. She walked into his workshop in the basement when she noticed something odd. There was someone else there and it wasn't Obadiah. Usually- actually _without exceptions_- she and Obadiah were to only ones who Mr. Stark allowed to visit down there. But now there she was, an almost unnaturally beautiful woman sitting next to Mr. Stark as he explained the finer points of overheating prevention technology he's using an as a pet project to pass the time.

Mr. Stark looked up and saw her sanding there, looking surprised.

"Ah, Ms. Potts, you got the takeout, right?"

His voice snapped Pepper out of her reverie.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Stark. Along with the paperwork you need to sign. You must be the Lady Potter I've hear so much about."

"Indeed I am (2). And you must be the notorious Pepper Potts. Tony talks about you quite a bunch, if he's not too busy talking about himself, that is."

Much to Pepper's surprise Mr. Stark didn't seem the least bit offended at the jab. Quite the opposite, he seemed amused at the maliciousless taunt and replied by giving the Lady a light shove on the shoulder. If that wasn't the sign of an apocalypse, Pepper didn't know what was.

One thing was clear, though. That woman was something else. Whether it was good or not Pepper couldn't decide. That is until Helena invited her out to a girl's night, saying that too much work can screw up a person's perspectives. Pepper thought she'll be taken to some snooty cigar club or something but was quite surprised when Helena first took her out to a middle class bowling joint.

"We're going to play bowling?" Pepper said in surprise.

"Obviously. You any good?"

"I haven't played since I was a kid."

"That's good to hear. I've never played. Always wanted to try this."

Lady Helena kept coming up with more surprises. At this point Pepper didn't think she'd be too surprised if she turned out to be some kind of a magical fairy or something. They played two games, both getting most of their balls in the drain. But it was the most fun Pepper had had in awhile. Later they tried a game of pool, which they didn't finish because they couldn't get all the balls in in the time limit of two hours they had bought. Then they had dinner. Taking a stroll in a park just chatting and exchanging fun memories they happened to walk by a basketball court with two men playing.

"Now, _that_ is a game I used to excel at." Pepper said wistfully.

"Really, Pepper? I was quite good at it too, but I haven't played in years."

Pepper was surprised. She had surprising a lot in common with the noble.

"Maybe if we ask nicely they'll let us have a round of one-on-one."

Helena (Pepper felt she was close enough with the other woman to drop the title) liked the idea and turned to ask the boys. Pepper did not like the suspicious glint the men had in their eyes at all.

"We don't have a lot of time here, but a little two-on-two won't hurt. How about it? Boys vs. Girls?"

Helena seemed to like that idea, seemingly oblivious to the men's undoubtedly dirty intentions.

Still, a game's a game. And Pepper found that Helena really was good at the game. They gave the men a run for their money. If it wasn't for the fact that the idiots tried to feel them up in the guise of snagging the ball, Pepper would've really enjoyed the little game. It was then that Pepper found herself thanking that Helena had unnatural beauty, though funny thing was that Helena was extremely good at dodging wandering hands, that woman was damn quick on her feet. With that face she must've hade quite bit practice she guessed. If only she knew.

After the game Pepper and Helena were going to call it a night. It had been a fun day, but that were both exhausted. That at least was the plan. As they walked through a darkened part of the park because the lamps were smashed they heard a shout from behind.

"You're not leaving without repaying for the fun we let you have, now will you?"

The women turned around to see the two men from before advancing onto them, both wearing sick predatory grins that was visible even in the darkness.

"You really shouldn't have picked the dark side of the park."

Pepper reached for her bag.

"You better not be thinking about using that pepper spray you no doubt have in that bag."

Pepper felt nervous. She glanced to her side at Helena and was surprised at the stone cold expression she had.

"Dibs on the raven…"

"No way dude, you get the redhead."

Even though they were probably talking about raping them, Pepper couldn't help but feel annoyed at being second choice. She glanced at Helena again and decided that it weren't the men that were scaring her. The look on Helena's eyes was the one that promised something you do _not_ want to experience.

"Dibs? That's pathetic, even for lowlife sad excuse of the male race such as you."

The tone of Helena's voice chilled Pepper to the bone. The two idiots, however, didn't seem to notice.

"What was that? Oh, we're going to hurt you so bad you'll be begging for mercy."

The hollow laugh made Pepper, who was already freaked out, shiver. It seemed to finally make the men uneasy as well.

"Is that so? Too bad I've already had to face horrors _so terrifying,_ your little jaunts don't even make it in the realm of intimidating."

And to prove her point she started taking long, slow steps towards the two men that. She slowly started raising her arms.

"Would you like me to show you what I mean?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and adopted a childlike tone which made it all the more creepy.

"Fuck this, I'm outta here. She's all yours, man."

"Hey wait for me!"

The perverts bolted. Helena turned back to Pepper and smiled at her. All of her previous creepiness seemed to have evaporated.

"What the hell was that all about?" She asked.

"When it comes to intimidating people I've learned from the best. Those two for example are the easiest type to intimidate. The type who act tough and prey on the weak, in this case two fragile women, are generally the biggest cowards. Had they been alone they never would've tried this, as there would've been the _slightest_ chance that we might've overpowered one."

"What about the creepy ghost thing you just did."

"Nice one about the ghost comment. People, when directly confronted by the supernatural, get scared rather easily. For example, the possessed young woman act I did just now. Added to that I have black hair and green eyes. While very pretty it can be turned rather creepy when used correctly."

Pepper had only one thing to say to that.

"Can you teach me?"

Once Harry got home he didn't head straight to bed like planned, but to the greenhouse. When he raised his arms towards the two rapists earlier it wasn't just for show. He showered the two men with some invisible pollen from his bracelet that he designed specifically for tracking. The bracelet will show him where the two men are, but it would last only for 24 hours. Not that that will be a problem because he was planning on dealing with them immediately.

When in the greenhouse sublevel he took a deep breath to prepare himself and walked into the polar zone. He found the specific plant he was very fond of- Frigidus Ampelos(3). It wasn't one of his designs. It was, however, exceptionally rare. The plant was sort of like an owl. It could only truly flourish when bonded to a magical being. It used to be mostly ice dragons but sadly that particular of breed was now extinct. Female ice dragons liked to lay their eggs into them as the vines were very protective and nigh impossible to get through, depending on the magical potential of the bonded.

To Harry the plant was able to alter him in a way that came extremely handy in situations like this. Harry reached out his palm and the plant pierced him with one of its thorns. Harry bit his lip as the familiar freezing feeling washed through him. It wasn't exactly excruciating, but in no means was it comfortable. As the toxin spread the biting chill from around him started to lessen and lessen. Harry took a deep breath of the freezing air. He never got used to the odd sensation of cold air when he couldn't actually feel the coldness. But the lack of hypothermia problems wasn't why Harry did this. The toxin completely bleached his skin making him look like a walking dead and bringing out his brilliant eye color even more. Harry thanked the plant by petting it lovingly. Frigidus Ampelos was a very affectionate plant after all- and liked children a lot. Especially it's bonded's (another reason why ice dragons liked to make a nest of it). On to business, Harry dressed in thin semi-transparent clothing and pulled his invisibility cloak over his shoulders giving an illusion of floating and walking like the wind.

_It was hunting time._

What? You didn't actually expect him to just let two rapists walk free when he could stop them, did you? He has a hero complex, remember?

**1- ****No offense meant. It's Rhodes who believes in that stereotype.**

**2- Couldn't resist :P**

**3-It **_**should**_** mean ice vine. Correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Word count:**** 6007**

**Thank you for reading.**


	4. Ch3: Closure

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman (or Corpse Bride or McDonald's). What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob captures Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: ****The beginning**** follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: Updating weekly… yeah. Well, anyway, let's do it like this. If I pass the time limit of ****TWO WEEKS**** everybody will send flames. I got a slight fever right now, so I'll either be writing a lot or not at all. Let's hope it's the former.**

**PS: Helen of Troy. Duh!**

**A/N2: I FOUND OLD 'THE SEER' CHAPTERS IN MY OLD COMPUTER. IF YOU WANT I CAN REPOST THE CHAPTERS. BUT I ****WILL NOT**** BE CONTINUING IT.**

**Posted: 13.04.10**

* * *

Gotta love brooms. Flying around on them always gave Harry weird thoughts. Right now Harry was thinking if anyone could see him through a satellite. Wonder if wizarding spells worked on them too. Didn't matter as he's wearing his invisibility cloak and those things sure did work on muggle technology. Getting sidetracked. Taking one look at his vine-y bracelet he turned slightly where the unwound tip pointed. The vine worked like a dowsing rod, but instead of water it scouted out the closest one sprayed with its pollen.

Ohhoo! The tip pointed downward, must be in that building somewhere. Now that the easy part's over, the fun part starts soon. Landing on top of the building he opened the roof entrance and slid in. The place looked a little dingy to Harry, but that's what you get for living in the lap of luxury for over two years.

Finding the apartment he was looking for, or rather where the vine was pointing at, he quietly cast an _Alohomora_ at it and slipped inside. Yeouch, the place was _filthy_. It's not dirty like the roof was leaking or the plumbing didn't work or the walls were molding. The living conditions were otherwise good enough, but the tenant was simply a complete slob: pizza and noodle boxes littered everywhere, dirty laundry was thrown at random and the place could use some airing as the smell of sweat was overwhelming. Now if only Harry could navigate on this maze of dirtyness.

Harry found it easier to move while using a levitation charm. Floating around the apartment Harry went through a door to what appeared to be a bedroom. Well if the less-that-18-year-old gagged and crying girl tied to the bed was any indication. It was the nameless guy who got pissed at his friend for calling dibs on Harry earlier. He was bent over the girl with a perverted glint in his eyes and a 15-inch jungle knife clutched in his left hand. Looks like Harry was just in time.

Starting out small Harry took a deep breath and blew his icy breath at the man's neck. He shivered and looked around, not seeing anything he shrugged it off and turned back to the girl. Harry maneuvered himself to his other shoulder and blew there. This time the rapist pulled off the girl more and took a suspicious glance around.

"Who's there?" He demanded.

Harry put a _Muffliato_ charm around the young girl so that she could not hear her.

"_Stop it." _Harry whispered very quietly.

The man shivered and looked at the girl.

"Come out!" He shouted slightly louder.

"_No, please, stop it."_ Harry whispered again.

"Who's there?!" He said in a commanding voice, but you could hear the fear that crept in it. He turned to the girl.

"Did you hear that?" She shook her head, her fear turning to confusion. Then she passed out, because Harry stunned her.

"Hey!" The man yelled and shook her shoulders. When she didn't wake up he slapped her, but she remained unresponsive.

Harry opened the door slowly, making sure it creaked as much as possible. The frightened man stood up slowly and even slower walked out of the room. Feeling overly theatric, Harry slammed the door behind him with the flick of his wand. The man shouted out in surprise and fright. His desperate eyes darting around the room as he attempted to find something, anything.

With a slight flick Harry lit a bulb in another room, the light glowing through from under the door. Gulping, the man opened the door and walked in. He stepped into the room and took a look around. When nothing seemed to happen he snorted and turned around, fully intending to get back to the girl.

As the rapist was walking into the room Harry positioned himself behind him and partially took off the invisibility cloak. When he turned around Harry could see his annoyed expression quickly morph into a look of horror as he fell over. His wide frightened eyes were probably the steadiest part of his body as he shook all over and released his bladder. It would've been very funny hadn't it been so disturbing.

"_Why have you done this to us? Why didn't you stop when we begged you to stop? When we begged you to stop hurting us?"_ Letting out a heartbroken whisper Harry slowly advanced on the man who looked like he could have a heart attack any minute. Harry kneeled down eye-level with the petrified man.

Looking at those haunting green eyes was the last sane thing the man remembered before ha was plunged into insanity.

Harry stood up after having doused the man with a hallugenic poison. It scrambles the mind enough that if the cure isn't administered soon the victim won't be able to regain sanity. And considering how muggles don't have the antidote at all, he wouldn't be cured even if he were discovered in time.

Walking into the bedroom Harry untied the girl. He scooped her up and stuck her onto him using a sticking charm. He left the building and went home.

"Kreatcher." Harry shouted and watched the disguised elf appear with a pop. He dumped the girl into his arms.

"Here, wake her up, give her a truth serum and find out where she lives. Then get her home." Turning on his heel he was about to leave when he shouted over his shoulder.

"Oh, and don't forget to wipe her memory of tonight's happenings. There's no need for her to remember this drama."

And he was flying off again on his broom.

It took faster to find the other guy. It didn't come as any surprise to find him in a strip joint. Those two were definitely all-out pervs. But this presented another problem. How was he going to do this without getting caught? He really didn't want to sit out his entire evening under his invisibility cloak waiting for this idiot to leave be club. And from the look of things it didn't look like he was going to leave any time soon.

"So, he didn't leave tip at all? What a cheapskate."

"And after all the gagging I had to do too. He was so fuckin' demanding."

Harry heard two strippers/prostitutes complain to one another. He turned to look at the two girls that didn't look any older than he was. They were both wearing white lingerie with spiked heels and angel wings. Both were moderately pretty. Suddenly Harry got an idea.

"What do you usually charge?" He asked them.

The two girls looked at Harry, who they couldn't really see as he was standing in the shadows. They told Harry an astronomically low price. Harry was surprised. The price of a woman's body was really so low? Harry took out some cash that was pocket change for him, but week's worth of money for the girls.

"Well, then. How about a favor?" The girls were eyeing the money and then glanced at each other. They started a sultry walk towards him/her, but Harry stopped them before they could act on their misunderstanding.

"You see, I have a bone to pick with _that_ gentleman over there." Harry subtly pointed at the man calling out lewd things to nearby girls.

"You mean Mr. Jacks? Total cheapskate. Never wants to pay. Everyone tends to avoid him as much a possible."

"So, what do you want us to do?"

"I want you to go to him. Make him think you're out for… _other_ kind of fun. Lure him outside of the club and into the back alley near here. After that you're free to go."

The girls looked a little reluctant. They had every reason to, as Harry's plan seemed like he was going to off the guy even to himself. Harry reached out his pale hand with the money.

"This is just an advance; you'll get another equal amount when it's done."

That was enough to sway the girls. They took the money and said they'll be right back. Harry was a little reluctant and thought he might've pretty much just thrown away several hundred dollars, but then the girls emerged again. They had dissed their wings and pulled on short skirts. Good, they looked off-duty compared to the other 'employees' here."

They sat on both sides of the man with seductive smiles. The perverted man fell for it hook, line and sinker and soon he was walking out of the place, his arms around either of the girls' waists. Harry Apparated in the alley and waited for the three to arrive. He heard the three approach- especially with how loud the man was being. They passed him and Harry quickly shot a stunner at the three of them. They fell over.

Moving quickly he enervated the man. He lifted his head with a grumble and took a looked at the unconscious girls on either side of him.

"What the fuck?!" Was his natural reaction.

He lifted himself up and took a look around. His eyes found Harry and he froze.

"That's not possible." He whispered eyes wide.

Harry didn't feel like playing around like he did with the other guy. So he shot the poison in his face and watched the man fall down coughing. Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed the girls, leaving the man lying in the alley. He Apparated them to the strip club's dressing room and placed the girls sitting on the sofa. He put the rest of the money in their palms and hid. He then shot an enervate at them. They woke up, feeling confused. Looking at the money and then at each other they shrugged it off and called it a night early. Harry did as well.

* * *

Months passed relatively quiet. There was a bit of drama with the press as it at first adamantly refused to believe that the relationship between Tony Stark and Lady Helena Potter was nothing but platonic. There were hordes of different speculations when Tony would often come to a party with Helena on his arm, but leave with a new face every time. One reporter managed to get a comment from Helena about it, but the 'we're just friend, he's free to do whatever he wants' didn't seem to suite with the gossipvultures very well. After a while the public accepted the platonic friendship though. Read: they became bored with the old news and moved on to newer gossip.

Behind the scenes Harry and Tony grew closer and closer at an alarming rate. There were times when Harry forgot that Tony didn't know about magic, but luckily he never did or say anything _too_ weird. Despite that particular secret about Harry's past life he felt more open with Tony than he ever felt with Ron or Hermione. He talked about a lot of inner dilemmas he had never felt comfortable to discuss with anyone before.

Tony wasn't any different. At times Helena acted rather eccentric but he didn't mind. Helena sometimes talked about her childhood, making Tony feel extremely grateful at his own life. He also talked about his own inner demons he had never acknowledged before, but now felt extremely relieved having let it out.

One evening Tony took Helena to Rome. She had mentioned that she had never been anywhere really, and Tony wanted to be the one to show her the world. It was a starry evening and they were enjoying pasta with candles and live performers. Overall the atmosphere was extremely romantic. After dinner they went to take a stroll in a park.

"You know, this is quite like a date." Tony said with a cheeky grin.

"Oh yes, I agree. You haven't run off with a pretty girl quite yet." Helena replied with a smile.

"Oh, yeah, I tend to do that, don't I? Well, tonight's different. I can't just leave you in a strange town all on your own now can I?"

"I thank you not to do that. Being in uncharted waters is scary enough. I would probably forget how to paddle if I were to be left by myself."

Tony smiled and took her hand.

"I'm sure you'd be able to manage. You're too perfect not to."

At that Helena seemed to feel extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm far from perfect, Tony. I have several secrets that you don't know about."

Tony was surprised to hear that.

"I thought we talked about everything."

"No, Tony, not really. Remember what I said about having two conditions you needed to fulfill if you ever wanted to date me?"

Tony nodded.

"Of course. No quickies and no cheating."

Helena managed a slight smile.

"Well, there's actually two other."

Tony's eyes widened.

"You've gotta be kidding me." He said in disbelief.

"It's not like that, Tony. It's nothing you need to change about yourself. The two conditions I laid down were what needed to be fulfilled so that I could accept you. These other two are what _you_ need to accept about me."

"Can't you just change them?"

Helena shook her head.

"No, I can't. It's something I was born with. No matter what I do I can't change the circumstances."

Tony frowned.

"What are they?"

Helena lowered her eyes.

"I'm not ready to tell you."

"Helena, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry. It's just too personal."

"Personal my ass! I've told you about everything! And you feel like you still need to have fucking secrets before me!"

"Tony!"

Helena looked scandalized. Tony felt pissed as hell. And they didn't talk for a month to come.

* * *

It was in the middle of summer and Helena's birthday was fast approaching. Tony was planning to give her a surprise party as an apology. At first he stubbornly refused to have anything to do with her until she told him what she kept as a secret. But that was a month ago! And he missed her! He missed talking to her, he messed her laugh, her smile, her eyes. And plain just being in her company. So for the first time since forever he swallowed his pride and decided that knowing she kept something from him was a small price to pay if she still considered him her friend.

Of course, since this was her _21__st_birthday, it _had_ to be something _big_. He subtly invited a lot of people but getting the birthday girl to actually attend turned out to be a nuisance. He couldn't just call her and invite her to a party after blatantly ignoring her for a month and telling her it was a 'surprise party in her honor' would kind of ruin the whole idea of a surprise. In the end he pestered Pepper until she agreed to pretend it was a girls' night out for the two.

Of course she gave him a cold shoulder for asking her that favor.

"I wouldn't have to do this if you hadn't alienated her." She had said.

She very adamantly believed that even the closest of friends were entitled to have secrets from each other. Tony, for the first time, seriously considered firing her. But the fact remained that he was completely dependant of her- just like one other woman that had unknowingly wormed her way into his heart.

* * *

Harry's doorbell rang.

"It's mistress's friend missus Potts, mistress."

"Tell her I'll be right there, Kreatcher. I'm just finishing up here."

Since Tony started ignoring Harry he delved into his work to fight off the depression settling in. He was heavily reminded of Ron's bi-polar behavior before Harry felt like he had had enough and left. At least Tony had a somewhat valid reason to sulk, but that didn't mean he could just ignore him! And an entire month straight!

However his and Pepper's friendship did progress during this time and Harry enjoyed spending time with the woman he had so amazingly many things in common with. And tonight on Harry's 21st birthday she was planning to take him out. Even though Harry said that he wasn't fond of partying she remained firm. She convinced Harry that since it was his drinking-age birthday the least they could do was reap the benefits.

"Hi, Pepper. Sorry it took so long. I lost track of time working and had to take a quick shower before I could get ready at all."

"That's fine, Helena. When Mr. Stark looses track of time working he's usually hours late."

Pepper knew she made a mistake mentioning Mr. Stark when she saw her smile turn stony. Things were definitely very tense between those two.

"Anyway, let's get going. You can only celebrate your 21st birthday once."

So they took a seat in Helena's modest sports car and drove off to a night of drinking and dancing.

* * *

Tony was starting to feel a little anxious. Pepper had promised to get Helena there nearly half an hour ago.

"Would you relax, Tony? You look like a groom realizing the bride is leaving him standing at the altar."

Needless to say Obadiah didn't make things any easier either.

"You're not helping, old boy. Pepper promised to get her here half an hour ago!"

"Maybe they stopped to pick up some guys?"

Tony sent Obadiah a very poisonous glare.

Suddenly everybody started shushing and slinking off to form a circle before the entrance. The lights were turned off. The door was pushed open.

"SURPISE!"

The lights came back on, photographers shot pictures, and Helena looked ready to fall over.

"Pepper! I said nothing big!"

"It wasn't my idea."

Pepper glanced towards the crowd, more specifically, to where Tony was. He had a smile on his face as he walked over.

"Happy birthday, Helena." He said with a grin and gave her a hug.

Harry sighed but smiled.

"You never do things halfway, do you, Tony?" That's one way to say 'sorry', and another to say 'forgiven'.

So Harry had his first ever birthday party. His 17th birthday dinner didn't count- everybody were too distracted by the upcoming wedding anyway.

Harry was having a pleasant conversation with Tony when he saw something he really didn't expect.

"Oh, fuck me sideways." He exclaimed in surprise.

Tony nearly spilled his drink from the surprise of hearing such words from Helena- as she usually never swore, at least not like that. She excused herself and made her way towards a platinum blonde who had a smirk plastered on his face.

Harry never thought he'd see _his _face ever again.

"Malfoy." He said in greeting.

"Potter." He greeted back with a smirk and raised Harry's knuckled to kiss them.

"I must say, Potter, I like the new look. Suits you."

"What are you doing here? And more importantly, how did you find me?"

Draco glanced sideways; Harry followed his gaze and saw Poppy Pomfrey in a heated conversation with a man around her age.

"My family owes you a debt, Potter. That's not something we can tolerate, but we couldn't do anything about it if we didn't even know where you were, now could we? I must admit I was rather stumped at finding you until madam Pomfrey recommended looking for a _miss _instead of a mister. How'd she know you'd be hiding as a woman is beyond me, but that's not what matters. What matters is that I've finally found you."

"Which I do not like at all, Malfoy. I rather like being lost to… the old crowd. Tell you what; I'll count your debt as fulfilled if you make sure it _stays_ that way."

"Oh? And what if I just, _by accident_, let it slip where you are and how you're hiding."

"Then your debt will not be fulfilled." Harry replied nonchalantly in a matter-of-fact tone while examining his nails (which despite of his profession looked top notch) in on oh-so-innocent matter.

Draco raised an elegant eyebrow.

"That's surprisingly Slytherin of you, Potter. Never would've thought you had it in you."

"Coming from you I'll take that as a compliment. So tell me: what were the reactions of everybody once they realized I was gone?"

Draco's mouth stretched from a smirk to a grin.

"You gave me a very amusing final year of Hogwarts. There were some whispers about you not being there at the entrance feast, but it didn't turn into a full-scale panic until the morning after when they realized that you weren't in the castle period."

Draco laughed at the memory.

"Personally I think that the Weasels were the most amusing. Weaselbee went on ranting about betrayal and such, Weaselette was bawling and going on about some nonsense about wedding dresses, the mud-"

"_Do_ _not_ use that term in my presence, Malfoy."

"Of course. Now where was I? Ah yes, the little bookworm. She took it as a personal offense not being able to find you by her _outstanding_ resources. Not a wonder as realistically she had pretty much nothing. Oblivion is bliss, as they say."

"Must've been indeed amusing. I understand _your_ reason, but why did Pomfrey want to find me?"

"No clue. She only came to me a few months ago when she retired from Hogwarts."

"She retired?"

"Amazing, isn't it? After how she remained, true even in the wartime, it's baffling how fast she hung up her apron."

Harry and Draco chatted on about nothing for a few minutes. They were both pleasantly surprised at how well they could get along, considering their past relationship. Or not… They did have an unspoken truce after Narcissa Malfoy sort of helped Harry bring Voldemort to his demise. Would've kept chatting away too if it hadn't been for…

"Mis-_sh_ Potter. Lovely to see you again." … Madame Pomfrey's intervention. It was clear to both wizards that she almost called Harry mister, which they found slightly amusing.

"Madame Pomfrey, lovely to see you well."

"Likewise, I hope. But I'd like to take a look at you myself, considering your usual streak of luck."

"I'm quite alright. Believe it or not I've lived a rather danger-free life since you last saw me. Maybe it was the country."

"Or the company you kept." Draco couldn't help but take a jab at.

Harry rolled his eyes and made a ha-ha sound.

"Nevertheless as I am quite positive you haven't seen a healer since our last checkup, I'd like to make sure you're really fine." Pomfrey sent Harry a meaningful look which made Draco slightly suspicious. Despite what a lot of people thought he was no idiot and he definitely knew the signs of when two people kept a secret. Judging by what the nurse said it looked like Harry had a medical condition that he wasn't comfortable sharing with another healer.

"Enjoying the party?"

Draco was a little startled when he heard a male voice ask out of nowhere. Mildly surprised he saw a moderately handsome (to a Malfoy's standards anyway) man place a hand on Harry's shoulder. Draco raised an eyebrow. Judging by the way Potter's eyes lit up they were more than friends. Potter was dating a muggle? A male muggle? It came as no surprise that since he's already a drag queen he's also a pillow biter. But a _muggle_!?

"Oh, Tony! These are some of my… old acquaintances from England. This is Madame Poppy Pomfrey and Lord Draco Malfoy. This is…"

"Tony Stark." The brunette introduced himself reaching a hand towards Draco for a shake, which seemed to have the purpose of crushing Draco's fingers, while virtually ignoring Pomfrey altogether.

"Charmed." Draco said with a smirk. Ah, the jealous type! They were always the most fun to fool around with.

Pomfrey on the other hand didn't seem the least bit offended of being ignored. She simply excused Helena and herself, wanting to have a little talk to 'catch up', leaving the two men on their staring contest.

"A Lord, huh? I'm guessing you and Helena were friends since you were in diapers."

_Helena_? Draco thought amused. He knew, of course, the identity Harry had adopted, but hearing someone actually say it out loud was a real knee slapper.

"No, not quite. We officially met only when we started boarding school together. She was always a real spitfire, caught my attention immediately."

Draco was really enjoying poking a sleeping dragon at that moment. The heavily suppressed but clearly visible holy anger (1) in this Tony Stark's eyes amused Draco almost as much as the Weasley clan did when they realized that a certain someone was missing- and not marrying his money away. (2)

"I'm assuming, you were a _previous_ boyfriend of hers." Tony grounded through clenched teeth, adding an especial emphasis on the 'previous'.

"Oh not _quite._" Draco said smoothly. "I must admit though. Our _relationship_ has changed a bit over the years. It's a bit of a shame really; I do quite miss the way we used to be."

"Oh, and are you going to rekindle the way you two used to be?"

"You know, it's a real shame that _Helena's_ family didn't believe in arranged marriages. Otherwise she'd be long gone for the likes of you."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

_A while earlier, when Harry and Pomfrey left the men_.

"Really, Mr. Potter, disappearing like that. What were you thinking?"

"That I'd like some privacy." Harry deadpanned. "And don't call me that. I'm a lady remember? Even muggles have ears, you know. Now, why are you here?"

"Dear merciful Morgana's braids! You could be a little nicer, with all the pension troubles those thrice damned youngsters at the ministry-"

"Pension troubles? What are you talking about, Madame Pomfrey?"

"Ah that. I chose a successor the very year you disappeared. After a year of helping her settle in I was finally able to retire and lead a quiet and relaxing pension. But those damn ministry officials- oooh how they infuriate me- denied me my pension funds I'm entitled to, saying they need it to still recover from the _shock of the war_! Hah! As if the ministry took all that damage! The money, of course, is being stuffed into their greedy pockets and not at all to the war victims and rebuilding where it should be going! Those-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. But what made you come seek me out?" Harry had to cut into her tirade as it looked like she would've vented for hours to come otherwise.

"Ah that, yes. Two reasons mostly. One- I had to live by somehow. Between not having _any_ sort of income, family and the bastards who refused to give me my old job back, I was in a rather tight spot. Helping Mr. Malfoy helped me- if only temporarily. And two- I was worried about you. Believe it or not you have quite grown on me and it eased my soul to know you are fine."

"I'm touched."

"When did you become such a prude?"

"What so you mean? I meant it!"

"Oh. Well anyway, when are you going to leave this party? I'd like some time to get settled in a little before giving you your checkup."

"Huh?"

"You're going to be a nice hospitable lady and of course put me up, obviously. I can't do a full physical when I'm about to fall over from hunger and fatigue, now can I?"

"… You have become even more headstrong since I last saw you."

"Yes, well, having no roof over your head can do that to a person."

Harry had never seen the matron so bitter. She was as stubborn as a mule, headstrong and strong-willed, downright scary if the circumstances were right but never really bitter. The British wizarding community really hadn't learned its lesson it seemed. Give it a decade the most and they'll have another budding dark lord rising.

"I'll have my house elf draw you a hot bath." Harry said quietly. Translation: you can stay with me for now.

"Sounds long overdue. And another that is overdue is your intervention."

Harry didn't get what she meant until Madame Pomfrey pointed out Draco and Tony, the blond looking like the cat that caught a canary while the brunette looked like a volcano seconds away from erupting. In an instant Harry was next to the two men, ready to do some damage control.

"Judging from the way you two look, I'd say you haven't changed at all, Malfoy. Tony, whatever he told you you can forget immediately. Draco here gets some perverse pleasure from pissing people off. And he's good enough to do that even to a stranger."

"You wound me, _Helena!_"

Draco exclaimed dramatically, making Tony want to gouge the blonde's eyes out.

"What else is new? You tried to get me by getting me in trouble with teachers and I got back at you by being better than you in everything we did."

Tony raised an eyebrow. Did he miss something here?

"So not true! I was way better in sports."

"Then how come you couldn't beat me _once_ in _any_ the matches we were in?"

Tony watched with now both eyebrows raised as Helena's face morphed into smug satisfaction when Malfoy scowled, obviously having a touchy subject breached.

"So… you two were rivals?" Tony asked slowly.

"Of course. What else would we have been? Man, he used to piss me off, but thinking of it now it was kind of fun."

_It's a bit of a shame really, as I do quite miss the way we used to be_

"He was a real selfish idiot when we first met. All prancing around, insulting my choice of friends, saying he would be better one. I turned him down and he took it real personal. Antagonized me at every chance ever since for years to come."

_She was always a real spitfire, caught my attention immediately_

Tony couldn't believe it. He took one look at Malfoy who looked like he was silently having the time of his life. This man was brilliant. He had not lied once, but manipulated Tony into thinking things that made him feel rage. All of a sudden the earlier fury Tony had felt washed away and he started laughing. Thinking about it now, he should be pissed but it _was_ kinda funny. Helena turned to look at him, surprised at his burst of laughter.

"Sorry. I was under the impression that you were lover."

"That would have made _you_ mad, wouldn't it?" Forget the respect Tony might have felt a moment ago, but the worst was yet to come.

"Oh, Tony and I aren't in a romantic relationship. We're just friends."

The unbelieving yet amused look Draco gave him made Tony want to shrivel up and die.

"Speaking of relationships. Did you marry Pansy like she planned?"

"After the stunt she pulled? Of course not!"

"Stunt, what stunt?"

"She opened her mouth and said the wrong thing at the wrong time. She lost a gamble and now she has to pay for it. You were there when she did it too, remember? Right before _that_ event."

Harry understood what Draco meant. It was right before Voldemort's death. He sent a message to the Hogwarts residents, demanding Harry Potter in exchange of their lives. Pansy was the one who said that they should nab him and do just that. Unfortunately at least 3/4th of the rest of the school didn't agree. The gamble Draco referred to was the fact that Harry killed Voldemort and not the other way around. And the sad truth was that the wizarding world really loved scapegoats and heroes. They pushed Harry on a pedestal and made Pansy a scapegoat. Poor girl.

"I see. Well, anyway, who did you marry anyway?"

"Astoria."

"Astoria? Daphne's little sister?"

Daphne Greengrass was a pureblooded Slytherin, the same year Harry and Draco were in. Astoria was two years younger than them, but in Slytherin too.

"That's the one. We just found out she's expecting our firstborn. I hope it's a boy."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Why, thank you."

* * *

Overall Harry had fun at his birthday party, even if it brought some unexpected changes with it. For one thing Harry had a small house built on a far end of his property just for Madame Pomfrey, who was finally able to enjoy her retirement. Her only duty now was being Harry's personal nurse in case he ever fell ill. Other than occasionally coming over for some tea she lived in relaxing solitude.

After Draco went back home to his wife he kept in touch quite minimally. Sending reports only when he felt like it. So far Harry only found out that Neville had taken up a job as a herbology teacher at Hogwarts. Stupid boy, all that wasted talent!

Things went relatively quiet for weeks to come. Or at least as quiet as could be with Tony's party animal nature. This particular night was quite slow. Tony, for once, didn't feel like going out, but didn't want to stay at home either, so the only other option was visit Helena.

He expected it to be a typical visit he had become accustomed to. Fortunately or unfortunately that was not to be.

Tony pulled his car up the parking lot (yes Lady Potter had a parking lot), and just walked in the house. Of course even though he didn't announce his presence Kreatcher was there to take his jacket. That butler was eerily perceptive in Tony's opinion. He was planning on surprising Helena, but ended up being surprised instead.

Tony had snuck up to the room Kreatcher had said where his mistress was; he quietly pushed the door open and peered in. Helena was moving around the room and as she brushed past a table her sleeve knocked over an expensive looking antique vase. Helena didn't look the least bit upset. She just waved at the thing and it… repaired itself back together?! Then floated back to the table… … …

Tony was too shocked to do anything, but the noise that his throat made got him Helena's attention.

Harry had accidentally knocked over a vase. So he did what any other wizard would've done in his situation- wave a wand and fix it. After floating it back to its place Harry heard a sound that made him turn around. Harry almost exclaimed out loud as he saw Tony frozen on the doorway- eyes as wide as saucers and mouth hanging open. Out of impulse Harry had his wand pointed and an _Obliviate_ at the tip of his tongue, but the spell did not come out.

For a few agonizing seconds Harry and Tony were simply staring at each other, doing nothing. While Tony's brain had pretty much shut down from shock, Harry's was working overtime. Should he wipe Tony's memory and just get it over with, or try to explain? Well, if the worst came to worst, Harry could always _Obliviate_ him later. With that decided Harry lowered his wand.

"Kreatcher! Get us something to drink, with a patch of calming draught." He shouted out loud… to the empty room.

"Sit, Tony. I don't want you to hurt yourself in case you faint."

When Tony didn't move a muscle Helena did that weird waving thing again and Tony felt like the air behind solidified and pushed him towards the woman he felt like he didn't know anymore. He watched her take a seat and point towards a sofa opposite her. Taking cautious steps he reluctantly sat down, whilst not daring to remove his eyes from Helena. A whiplash like sound made an already skittish Tony jump a foot up in the air. He turned his hear suddenly, making his neck feel a sudden sharp pain, only to see the creepy butler place a tray of _tea_ on the table.

"I think I need a little stronger than that." Tony muttered.

"It's fine. See this bottle? It's a calming draught, it'll help you relax. I'm going to need some too."

Helena poured some tea to both of them, not even batting an eyelash as her butler disappeared into thin air with the same whiplash sound, then opened the clear vial and poured some of the liquid to both of the cups. She handed Tony his cup and he took it, albeit slightly reluctantly. Seeing Helena take a sip out of her own cup he tried a small amount himself. It tasted like any normal tea. For a moment nothing happened, then as suddenly as someone poured water on him, Tony felt his muscles almost forcefully relax. Raising an eyebrow he took a bolder swig from his cup. The effect was the same. Now feeling a lot calmer, he felt ready to listen to whatever explanation Helena was going to give him.

"Do you remember the reason why we had a fight?"

Well, that certainly wasn't what Tony expected.

"Sure, we… um, well not really."

"There were two things about me that I said I haven't told you."

"Ah, right. The things your chosen partner has to know and accept in order to be with you, since you can't change them about yourself."

"Yes, that. Well, what I'm about to tell you is one of them. The truth is… there is a hidden community in the world."

"A hidden community? Like terrorists or something?"

"Ah, no. It's something you're either born into or born out of genetically. You can choose if you actually live amongst them, like me, but if you are a part of them, you're part of them."

"I'm not sure I get it."

"Your kind used to be aware of us, but now we're just children's bedtime stories and myths. It was a bit of a joke when we were put on stakes and burned, it never actually worked."

"Burn on a stake? What are you, witches?"

"Bingo."

Tony looked at Helena's smiling face.

"You're serious?"

"Of course. Magic is as real as the air we breathe. But unlike the ridiculous belief that we're lost people who sold our souls to the devil to gain some power, we're actually just genetically born this way. Think of magic as an exotic energy that has the ability to bend reality to a certain extent. And think of wizards and witches as humans born with the special ability to manipulate that energy. Most of us need to use a mediator though." Helena said with a smile and showed her wooden wand.

"Now, the question I'd like to ask: can you accept this?"

"Don't know, yet. What if I don't?"

"Then I'd have to follow the law."

"Law?"

"Yes. We're required to make sure that our world remains a secret. I'd have to wipe your memory. Why don't you go home and think about it? But don't go babbling. Other than me getting into trouble you're going to have your memory erased anyway, plus whoever you told."

"And if I went to the press?" Tony said as a joke but Helena didn't find if amusing apparently. She pointed her wand at him in an aggressive manner.

"Then you can say goodbye to your life as you know it. Not by my kind, but you'll be stuffed to a loony bin by your own kind, your shares probably sold, and me facing trial and probably prison."

Well, if she put it like _that_, it really wasn't funny.

But now that Tony found out about the first secret Helena held, he couldn't help but wonder what could be the second one. Must be something _really _big since she still didn't tell him, even after _this_ bomb.

* * *

**1-**** '****Püha viha täis'**** means 'full of holy anger' in Estonian. It's a way to describe a person who's almost comically pissed off. I really like the phrase in my language so I just had to use it.**

**2- That's Draco's POV.**

**Word count: 6602**

**Thank you for reading.**


	5. Ch4: The funvee

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman****. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob captures Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: ****The beginning**** follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: Slight warning, this chapter may be a bit boring to some as it's pretty much a retelling of the movie's beginning. Notice how at the ending my writing style changes a bit? Yeah, I wrote that at 4am. XD**

**A/N2: Srsly, no one wants me to repost 'The Seer'? Well, anyway, unless my computer crashes the chapters remain safe.**

**PS: WOOT! I so totally stuck to the time limit! Let's see if I can keep to it.**

**Posted: 27.04.10**

**

* * *

**

Harry was sitting at a table in a hotel and casino called Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. He watched quietly as there was a video of Tony shown. As if he needed his ego to be bloated any more than it already is. But it seemed there was no need to worry about that since he was nowhere to be seen. When the short video of preaching praises ended, Rhodey took the mike on the stage.

"As liaison to Stark Industries, I've had the unique privilege of serving with a real patriot. He is my friend and he is my great mentor. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mr. Tony Stark."

People burst out into applause, including Harry, even if all that came out of Rhodey's mouth was a load of cheese. But the guest of honor was nowhere to be found still.

"Tony?"

Harry giggled at Rhodey. While the smile on his face never left, his posture and eyes screamed _'I can't believe that asshole'_. Obadiah, who was sitting next to Harry, stood up and went to the stage. Rhodey smiled and shook hands with him. He handed Obadiah the award and took a step back as Obadiah took the mike. Obadiah looked at the prized award and said stuff like 'thank you' and 'this is wonderful' in a good natured way.

Obadiah had his hand reached out as he looked at the award and then out of nowhere he said in a humorous fashion.

"Well, I'm not Tony Stark."

Harry laughed with the rest of the crowd.

"But if I _were_ Tony, I would tell you how honored I feel, and what a joy it is to receive this _very_ prestigious award. Tony, you know… the best thing about Tony is also the worst thing. He's always working."

Harry applauded with the rest of the crowd as Obadiah thanked the crowd again and left the stage. Harry smiled and shook his head. Obadiah and Tony reminded him a little of the way Ron and himself used to be. It was quite clear that Obadiah was a little jealous of Tony. Harry was pretty sure Obadiah had a little fantasy of accepting the Apogee award himself instead of just in Tony's behalf. Harry smiled as Obadiah and Rhodey came to the table.

"I guess we're going to hunt Tony now… again." Harry said with a smile.

"How can you be so calm about that idiot?" Rhodey grumbled.

"Well, I'd be pissed as hell if it were me he promised to accept the award from. I'd want to kill him if he promised something like that, but didn't show up and left me on the stage standing like an idiot. But it wasn't me. And so, I personally find this hysterical." Harry said between giggles.

"Yeah, rub that in." Rhodey grumbled.

"Let's go find Tony."

"Good luck." Obadiah called at them as they departed.

It didn't take them long to find him. They first checked his suite, as it was possible that he lost track of time having sex with several girls at once. But the room was empty, so the next stop was the casino. It wasn't hard to find him there. All you had to do was find the table with the prettiest girls around it.

_Shake, shake, shake, roll._

Tony rolled, and apparently he rolled his dice well, if the applause was anything to go by. One pretty brunette next to him proved what a skank she was by pressing herself all over him.

"We should just stay till the morning." Harry heard Tony whisper to her.

Rhodey didn't seem to think so.

"_You_ are unbelievable."

"No, he just needs a babysitter."

Harry piped in, still amused. He was even more amused listening to Tony and Rhodey's banter about the award. Harry got the feeling the only reason Tony agreed to accept the stupid award anyway was because Rhodey asked him to, because when Rhodey actually gave him the crystal monument Tony pretty nonchalantly gave it to the girl who flirted with him earlier. He had so many awards already, that no matter how prestigious, it had all become pretty trash to Tony.

Turning to much more interesting things, Tony gathered his chips and got ready to roll again. He offered his hand to the gold-digger next to him and she blew on his dice. Then he offered it to Harry and Harry blew on them as well. Then, much to Harry' amusement, he asked Rhodey to blow for good luck as well. Rhodey refused, feeling his masculinity deeply insulted, but Tony still insisted and called him a honey bear while at it too. Rhodey pushed Tony's hand away and the dice rolled out of Tony's hands and onto the table.

"There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And…"

"Two craps. Line away."

Harry sensed this time Rhodey got the silent laugh.

"That's what happens." He said with a shrug.

"Worse things have happened. I think we're gonna be fine. Color me up, will ya." Tony replied.

Tony ended up winning 3 million. And Rhodey couldn't help but be amazed that Tony really didn't seem to care.

So they left the casino to go home after Rhodey convinced Tony that he really didn't need to hit the slots.

"You want a ride, Hel?" Tony asked Harry, but he didn't get a chance to answer as a blonde reporter interrupted, asking adamantly if she could get a few quotes.

"She's cute." Happy, Tony's driver, whispered to Tony.

"She's alright?" Tony asked and turned around his shoulder to take a look himself.

"I think I can get home myself. See you later, Tony. I'll come to see you off tomorrow." Harry said to Tony and pecked him on the cheek as goodbye.

"Okay, thanks. Goodnight." Tony said back and turned to the attractive blonde reporter.

* * *

Harry woke up the next morning, got through his morning routines, sat in his car and took off to Tony's house. He walked into the house and stopped to see the same blonde reporter chick from the night before. Well, it came as no surprise that Tony was able to sugartalk the woman to his bed. She hadn't noticed Harry yet, as she wondered the house, admiring the décor. She touched a locking system on the wall and Jarvis told her she wasn't '_authorized to access that area_' completely freaking her out while at it. Funny thing, that ever since Harry met Tony, he was constantly entertained.

"That's Jarvis, he runs the house." Pepper said and the reporter, whose name Harry couldn't recall, turned to her with a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.

"I've got your clothes here. They've been dry-cleaned and pressed, and there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go." Se said and held up the clothes.

"You must be the famous Pepper Potts." The blonde said and closed in in a slightly predatory way.

"Indeed I am." Pepper said with a professional smile.

"After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning." She said in a slightly mocking way, as if to say that she's useless and couldn't get promoted. Harry had to roll his eyes. Pepper may do a lot of things that may seem like something only and intern would do, but she was still the highest paid employee at Stark Industries. For a good reason too!

"I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires, including, occasionally, taking out the trash. Will that be all?" Pepper replied with the same professional smile.

Harry felt like he cracked a few ribs trying to hold back laughter. That was the moment Pepper noticed him.

"Hey, Helena, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, me? I'm here to see Tony off. Oh, and I have this for you too." Harry held up a parcel for Pepper to take.

"You know his plane was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago, right?"

"Yes." Harry replied without missing a beat.

"You must be Lady Helena Potter, am I right?"

"How do you do? I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name."

"Christine Everhart, _Vanity Fair_ magazine." She said and extended her hand.

"I take it you got the quotes from Tony you were hoping for?" Harry asked politely.

"And more." Pepper muttered not-so-politely.

"Well, the character analysis won't be very useful, since apparently it's been done before me… a lot."

"Yes I suppose so."

Ms. Everhart, at least, didn't have any illusions of grandeur. But why'd she settle Harry didn't know. Actually, Harry didn't understand a lot of women Tony associated himself with. Harry didn't understand why'd you sleep with a man for one night, and then leave like it didn't mean anything at all. If it was a one time thing, okay, you got used. But to repeatedly do it over and over again like that? But he accepted that such a thing existed and left it be- no matter how weird it may seem.

"You said that you came here to see Mr. Stark away. Is he going somewhere?"

"Yeah, to some weapons' presentation somewhere in Iraq or Iran-"

"Afghanistan." Pepper piqued in.

"Right… that country."

"He does know that place is a hotspot, right?"

* * *

Having sent Ms. Everhart on her way, Harry and Pepper went downstairs to where Tony was tinkering with his toys again; a renovated vintage car this time. Harry sat and listened good naturedly the business banter Pepper and Tony had. He'll never get bored listening to those two; even if he had _no_ idea what the hell they were talking about half the time.

"I don't like it when you have plans." Harry was pulled away from his semi-daydreaming to a conversation he could actually follow completely.

"I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday."

"It's your birthday."

"Yes."

"I knew that. Already?"

"Yeah. Isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year."

"Get yourself something nice from me."

"I already did."

"And?"

"Oh, it was very nice."

"Yeah?"

"Very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark."

"You're welcome, Ms. Potts. And what did _you_ get her?"

Tony leaned over to look at Harry who was sitting behind Pepper.

"I got her the shoes and bag to match the dress 'you' bought her. Oh, whoops, you haven't even opened it yet." Harry said with a sheepish smile as Pepper looked at the parcel she received earlier.

With that Tony drank a cup of something that Pepper gave him, and went to get ready to take off. While waiting, Harry made Pepper and himself some tea.

"I swear, that man takes longer to get ready than a woman." Harry told Pepper with an eye roll.

"No arguments about that. He's going to drive his wife nuts one day."

"Now, I definitely have no arguments about _that_." Harry said and shared a laugh with Pepper.

"Ever think it could be you, Hel?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Ever thought about being the one he'll marry one day?"

Harry remained quiet for a moment.

"I've… thought about it… Once or twice. Why did you ask that?"

"I know about your… conditions you laid to Mr. Stark. The no cheating thingys."

Harry raised an eyebrow. Had Tony told her that? Harry thought Tony's head was too big for him to talk about something like that.

"Really? Okay, then, but where are you going with this?"

"You know, Hel, you're a very good friend to me, I just… I just don't want to see you wasting away waiting for him."

Harry's mouth dropped very slightly. He was really touched by Pepper's concern. Harry gave her a smile.

"Don't worry. I admit I _am_ waiting for him- kinda. But my world doesn't revolve around him. If there's a guy coming along that I may have a real shot with, I'm not going to turn it away for what _might_ happen between Tony and I when I'm 50."

Pepper gave a semi-relieved smile, but then their conversation was ended as Tony walked in and announced that he's ready to go.

"Buckle up, Hel, I'm driving." Tony said cheerfully as he sat into his fancy sports car.

Harry took the seat next to Tony and buckled up, as asked. Tony and Harry shared a smirk as Tony took off with Happy the chauffer attempting to keep up.

"He keepin' up with us?"

Harry twisted around.

"Nope."

"Maybe you could use that confounding charm thingy you told me about. For kicks."

"He's having difficulty enough as it is, Tony. Besides that charm would probably kill him right now. I don't want him to drive into a cliff or something."

"Turn his hair pink?"

"_Yes_, because that would _so_ not bring up any awkward questions." Harry rolled his eyes and Tony laughed out loud.

Tony accelerated.

"Tryin' to kill us?" Harry asked, but he wasn't really concerned.

"Well, I don't want to keep Rhodey waiting."

"Tony, you're three hours late."

"Really? I thought it was about two."

"That would be, but you take an hour in the bathroom, you pansy."

Tony bumped Harry's shoulder.

"I do stuff while showering."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Didn't you have that reporter, Eversomething, with you last night?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't like she was that pretty anyway."

"Are you _high_, Tony? She looks incredibly smashing."

"Hmm? You think so? She was okay, I guess, but not really anything to jump off a cliff for."

Harry looked at Tony a little weird. Was he kidding… or serious?

Soon they pulled to a stop by the plane. Tony laughed as he got out of his car and shouted at Happy.

"You're good! I thought I lost you back there!"

"You did, sir. I had to cut across Mulholland." Happy replied as he unloaded Tony's luggage.

Harry laughed.

"Drivin' like a maniac. What would you have done if a cop had tried to pull you over? Tried to race him too?"

"Nope. I would just pay the guy."

Harry rolled his eyes. One day Tony will meet a cop whose morals were too high for even his money.

"What's wrong with you?" Rhodey asked moodily as they neared the plane.

"What?" Tony asked innocently.

"_Three hours_."

"I got caught doing a piece for _Vanity Fair._ Hey, one for good luck?"

Helena smiled and gave Tony a goodbye peck on the lips.

"Good luck, be back home soon."

"Sure. Bye."

Tony grinned as he looked Helena go back to his car to drive it home. Sure he had people working for him to do that, but Helena really liked that car for some reason.

"For three hours. For three hours you got me standing here." Rhodey said moodily.

"Waitin' on you now. Let's go. C'mon."

Tony got on the plane and Rhodey followed, thinking that this is _so_ _not_ worth it.

The plane had departed and Rhodey was giving Tony the silent treatment. Tony, not liking the quiet, tried to start a conversation by asking what he was reading.

"Nothing." Rhodey said.

Tony still didn't give up and pulled Rhodey into a banter, him apologizing and Rhodey going on about how typical this was.

"Helena's right. I'm just your babysitter, so if you need your diaper changes you let me know, and I'll get you a bottle, okay."

"I think she said that I needed a babysitter not that I had one. Hey, heat up the sake, will ya?"

"No, we're not drinking! What I think is that she implied I need to be a better babysitter, because you still have no respect for anything."

"You can't have sashimi without sake. I said I was sorry, Rhodey. I told you I got a little caught up doing something-something with _Vanity Fair_."

"You are constitutionally incapable of being responsib… hey wait a minute. That reporter from _Vanity Fair_ was female, right!? You are so unbelievable!"

"It would be irresponsible not to drink. I'm just talking about a nightcap. And of course it was a female! I wouldn't even bother otherwise, unless it's for TV."

"Hot sake?" Asked the attractive stewardess.

"Yes, two please." Tony replied

"No, I'm not drinking. I don't want any. And who was she anyway? Christine Everhart?"

"How'd you know?"

"Whoa, wait! You spent yesterday with _that_ woman?"

"What's the big deal? It's not like she was _that_ nice looking."

"_That nice loo_- are you out of your damn mind?! She's unbelievably stunning."

"What are you, desperate? I guess I was a little, last night. I wouldn't have had brought her home with me last night otherwise, but it had been awhile since I've been with a woman. I mean she was sort of okay looking, but not really- why are you looking at me like that?"

Rhodey had not moved a muscle. He was just staring at Tony like he had grown a second head. All of a sudden he reached out and downed his sake cup with one gulp. For a moment neither man said anything, but then Rhodey said in a quiet voice.

"Helena has ruined you."

"What are you talking about?"

"That woman looks… well divine doesn't even cut it. Next to her no other woman looks even remotely beautiful. I think you've gotten used to Helena's looks so much that you can't be satisfied with anything less. Like take Miss Everhart for example. Tony, she is one of the prettiest women I've ever seen, but to you she seems barely mediocre! Now that's just… _sad_."

This time it was Tony who downed his cup in one swig.

* * *

Hours later the plane landed, with Tony feeling as fresh as ever and Rhodey having one killer hangover. How'd he managed that, remained a mystery to Rhodey- especially since they both had a little private party with the stewardesses a little while ago. A little embarrassing because it was Rhodey who told Tony to get _some_ rest when one of the flight attendants blindfolded and dragged him away (while the other two offered their own 'services' to Rhodey).

In Tony's opinion the weapons presentation went as smoothly as any other- in other words flawlessly. Then, after getting a drink, it was time to drive away. He got into a hummer with some soldiers and got ready to take off only to be interrupted by Rhodey.

"Hey, Tony!"

"I'm sorry, this is the 'fun-vee'. The 'hum-drum-vee' is back there."

"Nice job." Rhodey said with an eye roll and nod.

"See you back at base." Tony said and pulled his head away from the window.

It was barely five minutes into driving and Tony was starting to regret not going with Rhodey. This place, aside from the radio, was like a library- no one dared to talk!

"I feel like you're driving me to court-martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me."

Tony turned to the young man sitting next to him. "What, you're not allowed to talk? _Hey_, Forrest!"

"We can talk, sir." The man replied in a barely concealed nervous tone.

"Oh, I see. So it's personal?"

"No, you intimidate them." Came the _female_ voice of the driver.

So Tony reacted like… Tony.

"Good god, you're a woman. I honestly… I couldn't have called that. I mean I apologize but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first."

"I'm an airman." She replied crisply, not taking her eyes off the road even for a moment. The other two men in the vehicle, however, were staring to get quite amused.

"Well you have, actually, excellent bone structure, there. I'm kind of having a hard time not looking at you, now. Is that weird?"

The lad next to him tried but failed to hold back a laugh.

"Come on, it's okay. Laugh!"

"Sir I have a question to ask."

Oh, _finally_! Tony enjoyed hearing himself speak, but being around guys with knots in their tongue made even him feel weird.

"Yes, please." He said immediately.

"Is it true you went 12 for 12 with last year's _Maxim_ cover models?"

"That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict, but fortunately, the Christmas cover was twins. Anything else?"

The lad next seat raised his hand up hesitantly. Was he serious?

"You're kidding me with the hand up thing, right?"

He let his hand down and skittishly asked "Is it cool if I take a picture with you?"

The guy looked like he would commit suicide if Tony refused.

"Yes. It's very cool."

However, they never managed to get one. While the lad had managed to give the slightly older man at front his camera, to get the photo taken, the car that drove in front of them was blown to bits. What happened next, Tony couldn't remember very clearly. What he did remember was lots of fear, blood and shouting. He got out of the car after seeing pretty much every soldier killed. Running around in shock and confusion he somehow managed to maneuver himself back-to-rock. Taking out his phone he attempted to launch a distress call, but before he could finish, one of his own delay-missileheads dropped down within few feet of him. Recognizing it for what it was- after all he himself had designed it- Tony made a mad dash to get away. It didn't work very well, and the next thing Tony knew was that he was blown to his back and that his chest hurt… a lot. Looking down he realized that his bulletproof vest hadn't done its job right. This was _so _not his day.

What happened next was even more of a blur. He remembered, vaguely, a man speaking, some unfriendly light shining into his eyes- and even more pain in his chest area. The chloroform that was finally pressed to his face seemed like the most welcome thing that had ever happened to him at that moment.

When Tony finally regained his conscious the first thing he noticed was that he was uncomfortable. Was something clogging his nose? His hand reached to scratch, but his fingers made contact with some thin tube. Not liking the tube even one bit he grabbed and started pulling the damn thing. It seemed like forever before he managed to pull that gross stuff out.

Looking to his left he saw water. His throat feeling drier than ever, he tried to reach out, but his hands felt too short and too clumsy. That's when he noticed that he was not alone. A man in a gray suit was shaving off his beard while humming to himself absentmindedly. The man didn't look hostile so Tony just left it be and attempted to reach for the water once more- but this time something was physically holding him back.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Tony heard the man say.

He turned around and saw a box that looked like some ancient car battery or something. He pulled at the wires that were attached to it and followed them. Much to his surprise and horror he realized the other end were attached to _him_! There was… something round and metallic surgically stuck to him. Tony felt too shocked to panic.

At first Tony didn't do anything, he just laid there. Then he sat up and examined the… thing in his chest a little closer.

"What the hell did you do to me?" He asked raspily.

"What _I_ did? What I did is to save your life." The older professorlike man replied with a dry chuckle. "I removed all the shrapnel I could, but here's a lot left, and it's headed into your atrial septum. Here, wanna see? I have a souvenir. Take a look."

The man threw a glass bottle containing little pieces of metal at Tony. Tony caught it and raised it up to his eye level.

"I've seen many wounds like that in my village. We call them the walking dead, because it takes about a week for the barbs to reach the vital organs."

"What is this?"

"That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery, and it's keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart."

At that moment, Tony could care less. What he wanted to know more was _why_ he was there with a man he'd never met with a round piece of junk metal stuck to his chest. But that question became guessable when he noticed a security camera. The professor, who seemed to have a morbid dry sense of humor, noticed that as well and said,

"That's right. Smile."

The professor made small talk that Tony didn't really pay any attention to.

"Where are we?" Tony wanted to know, but he didn't get the chance to find out as at that moment voices were heard from behind the door.

"Come on, stand up. _Stand up_!" The professor coached "Just do as I do. Come on, put your hands up."

It was then when the men opened the heavy iron doors and entered. The first thing that Tony noticed wasn't that they were dangerous terrorists, but that they were carrying _his_ guns. _How_ in the seven blazes of hell did they get his guns? He asked the man next to him, but the man shushed him and told him to do as he did again.

A fat man, who was obviously a little more up in the food chain there, came and started talking about something very boisterously, from which Tony only recognized his own name. After the man had finished he motioned the professor to translate.

"He says: "Welcome, Tony Stark, the most famous mass murderer in the history of America."".

Tony didn't react in any way, and apparently he wasn't supposed to, as the fat male continued with the same odd hospitable smile that seemed extremely out of place.

"He's honored. He wants you to build the missile; the Jericho missile that you demonstrated." The professor then took a photo from the terrorist and showed it to Tony. "This one."

Tony took one look at his latest invention. _No, no, no, no!_ It's true that he was war profiting, but all his weapons were supposed to stay for Americans to use, not go to these terrorist! So without a doubt in his mind: "I refuse."

The next thing he knew… his head was wet and lungs burning.

* * *

After the pitiful excuses of human beings deemed that he had had enough, he was taken outside with a bag over his head (a little insulting because that professor didn't have one over his!). Tony most certainly hoped that every terrorist hideout didn't look like this one. Was this a hideout or a weapons' storage? _His_ weapons' storage. This was not how it was supposed to be!

The fat man went on about the Jericho again. Saying that he will be set free once it's finished. Tony smiled and shook hands with the proverbial devil. And he didn't make deals with devils- he always preferred to _be_ one.

Later that evening in a cave the professor _tried _to give him a pep talk, but Tony didn't see how it mattered anymore, since he was probably going to die anyway. The professor was right about one thing: his friends would never find him in these mountains.

"Why should I do anything? They're going to kill me, you, either way. And if they don't I'll probably be dead in a week."

"Well, then, this is a very important week for you, isn't it?"

Tony didn't say anything, but he felt an epiphany take over. That professor had been here for god knows how long, and despite having such a nice disposition his heart is filled with revenge. He wanted these men to die, or at least suffer a bit. He and Tony were still probably going to die, but at least they were going to screw these guys over while at it! The chances of actually escaping weren't good, but with his mind there was at least _something_… but first things first- he needed a better heart.

* * *

Tony felt right at home bossing the terrorist around. But after his workspace had been prepped, materials collected, and annoyances booted out of the cave, the first stage of the plan could begin.

"You know, we might be more productive if you include me in the planning process."

"Yu-huh?"

Tony broke open a missilehead, removed a piece of metal and showed it to the ever-curious professor.

"What is that?"

"That's palladium, 0.15 grams. We need at least 1.6, so why don't you break down the other 11?"

After that was done, they melted the metal and the professor poured it to a case that Tony hade prepped. While in the process of pouring Tony realized it was a little annoying calling the man 'that professor' even in his own mind.

"What do I call you?" He asked.

"My name is Yinsen."

"Yinsen. Nice to meet you."

Yinsen pulled away from the case.

"Nice to meet you too."

After the metal had cooled, Tony could finally start the real work. All the while Yinsen looked at him with fascination. Usually Tony liked working in solitude and having someone breathing at the back of his neck annoyed him, but he didn't really mind this time. That and Yinsen looked like a child watching his favorite TV program.

Finally, Tony was almost done. All that remained was activating the project. Yinsen leaned over to look at the small glowing thing on the table with fascination.

"That doesn't look like a Jericho missile." He pointed out the obvious.

"That's because it's a miniaturized arc reactor. I've got a big one powering my factory at home. It should keep the shrapnel out of my heart."

"But what could it generate?" Yinsen asked.

"If my math is correct, and it always is, three gigajoules per second."

"That could run your heart for 50 lifetimes" Yinsen said in wonder.

"Yeeah… or something big for 15 minutes. Come here."

Tony pulled Yinsen to a table where several plans and prints were. He put the on top of each other.

"This is our ticket out of here." Tony whispered proudly.

"What is it?" Yinsen asked for the umpteenth time in such a short time.

"Flatten 'em out and look."

Tony flattened the prints against the lit table and the image of what looked like a child's toy robot appeared.

"Oh, wow. Impressive." Yinsen whispered.

"Thanks, but now, I think it's time for my heart surgery."

* * *

After Yinsen had placed Tony's new 'heart' in place they decided to take a small break with a board game.

"Good roll." Yinsen complimented Tony on his luck.

"You still haven't told me where you're from."

"I'm from a small town called Gulmira. It's actually a nice place."

"Got a family?"

"Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?"

Tony really didn't know how to answer that. The question caught him by surprise and brought Helena to the front of his thoughts. Truth was, she had always been in his thoughts during his stay here. When he got hit by the bomb, when he was in surgery, when he was tortured, when he was working on the arc reactor- just not on the forefront, but somewhere in between his conscious and unconscious mind. Thinking about it now, Tony felt like shit that he never got to tell her how he felt about her. And all because he had commitment issues! This strengthened Tony's resolve to get out of this dump. He still had some unfinished business to attend to.

"Stark? You okay? You sort of spaced out there."

"I… no. I don't have a family."

"No? So you're a man who has everything and nothing."

Tony smiled.

"Hopefully I can rectify that once I'm out of here. If I hadn't been such an idiot I… might have been married… probably… maybe."

Yinsen laughed.

"So I take it you have a lady friend waiting back at home?"

"Sort of. She's the most… interesting woman I've ever met. You know, when I first met her…"

Tony told Yinsen about Helena. How'd she'd given him an ultimatum, how brilliant she was, and, of course, how amazing she looked. He even told him about Rhodey's thoughts about how'd she'd ruined him with her beauty. That gotten them a laugh!

* * *

Tony and Yinsen were in the middle of working when the door was opened and about a dozen men came in. A bald man, who seemed to be even higher up in the food chain than the fat man, strutted in confidently. He took an interested but snooty look around before his gaze stopped at Tony.

"Relax." He told them.

Tony let his arms down and saw Yinsen do the same. The bald dude came uncomfortably close to Tony to take a closer look at the slightly glowing piece of technology in Tony's chest.

"The bow and arrow…" he started with a voice Tony humorously thought would suit an old pipe-happy Indian chieftain "…once was the pinnacle of weapons technology. It allowed the great Genghis Khan to rule from the Pacific to the Ukraine. An empire twice the size of Alexander the Great and four times the size of the Roman Empire."

The Baldude (mixture of bald dude, as dubbed by Tony) went to dangerous territory as he picked up the suit plans.

"But today, whoever holds the latest Stark weapons rules these lands."

Yinsen tried to subtly signal something.

"And soon, it will be my turn." Baldude finished his monologue dramatically and put down the plans.

He walked in front of Tony and looked at him straight in the eye. Then he said something obviously not meant for Tony's ears as Tony didn't speak whatever language this guy was using. Yinsen replied something, but he was looking nervous. Baldude predatorily stalked to Yinsen and said something that seemingly made Yinsen even more nervous. Yinsen replied the man with a nervous lick of his lips. Then the Baldude said something again and several of his goons grabbed Yinsen.

Baldude went to the furnace and seemingly started poking the fire all the while blabbering something Tony still didn't understand. Yinsen replied, now looking downright scared. Baldude turned around and he had one big burning coal between his tweezers. He said something with a honey-laced tome.

"What does he want?" Tony asked as someone grabbed Yinsen's head and Baldude moved the coal closer.

He asked something and Yinsen replied. This time Tony understood what their conversation had probably been about, as he recognized the word 'Jericho' from Yinsen. Baldude asked the same question and Yinsen replied the same answer. This time Baldude yelled the question angrily and Yinsen replied very frantically. Tony had to interfere before Yinsen really got hurt.

"What do you want? A delivery date?" He asked and took a step closer. As soon as he did the goons skittishly pointed their weapons at him with shouts and panicky looks. Tony made a 'cheh' sound of disbelief. Baldude turned his attention to Tony.

"I need him." Oh, that just sounded so _wrong_ "Good assistant."

Baldude let the coal fall off the tweezers only a few inches from Yinsen's face.

"You have until tomorrow to assemble my missile." He said with an air of drama around him. Maybe he should try Hollywood one day? If he didn't have such an unquenchable thirst to rule the world, that is.

Either way it was time to get back to work.

* * *

Having finished the final touches of the armor, Tony packed himself up in uncomfortable leather and, with the help Yinsen, the iron armor.

"Okay, say it again." Yinsen asked Tony to recite the way out of the cave as he finished up final touches of getting in the armor.

"41 steps straight ahead. Then 16 steps, that's from the door, fork right, 33 steps, turn right…"

Tony went on nervously. He had just finished when the eye flap of the door was pulled aside and they were called out.

"Say something. Say something back to him." Tony told Yinsen.

"He's speaking Hungarian. I don't…"

"Then speak Hungarian." Tony told Yinsen, frustrated.

"Okay, I know."

"What do you know?"

Yinsen snapped his fingers, frantically trying to remember any vocabulary he knew of that language. Apparently it wasn't enough, because they opened the door to come in. Well they never managed that last tidbit since there was a bomb set to go off when the door was moved from its stillness.

"How'd that work?" Tony asked Yinsen.

Yinsen twisted his body to look at the door.

"Oh, my goodness. It worked all right." He said with a headshake and got back to working on Tony.

"That's what I do." Tony said, considerably less proud than he would have been in the past. "Initialize the power sequence."

"Okay." Yinsen went to the computer and waited for Tony's further instructions.

After that was done Tony told Yinsen to finish buttoning him up. After that was done Yinsen took one look at the computer screen.

"I'm gonna go buy you some time." He told Tony and ran past him.

"Stick to the plan." Tony tried to tell him, but Yinsen had already left, with a gun (taken from one of the dead-from-door-guy) blazing.

So now Tony had nothing to do except to wait for getting fully loaded, and listen to the distancing rattle of Yinsen's stolen automatic. The end loaded fairly fast, and when it did, there was a minor power outage. So there he was, sitting in the darkness, playing hide-and-go-seek with a few terrified terrorist. Oh looky, one of them found him! Let's punch the poor sucker across the room! The other men, frightened to see their buddy soar through the air, did the only sensible thing and insensibly wasted their bullets on the empty space.

Tony waited until they've ceased fire before punching their lights out. Well, that was easy. But now he needed to find Yinsen. He went through the drill with only minor annoyances (read: the terrorists didn't stand a chance), and then he finally got to the door Yinsen told him would be there after 41 steps. The dudes tried to seal him in, meanwhile leaving one of their comrades to piss his pants on his side of the door. Not bothering with anything drastic he threw the poor sod away from him and turned to literally knock down a door. It took exactly four knocks.

Tony tried to swat one panicked man, but missed and hit the stone wall. Well, that wouldn't have bothered him, but his arm kinda got stuck there. While attempting to free himself he didn't notice one of the men sneak up to him, but the next thing he knew was that he felt like someone put a massive bell over his head and rung it… loudly. He turned his head he looked down to see that a man just committed suicide while attempting to kill him. Well, that's different. Luckily that man wasn't smart enough to actually use the one flaw in his armor- his eyes.

Pulling his arm free, he was set to go. He was just about outside already when he saw Yinsen.

"Yinsen!" He shouted and took a step towards him.

"Watch out!" Yinsen wheezed.

Tony turned to see Baldude with a shotgun. Luckily, he missed. Well, Tony didn't hit bull's-eyes either, but his shot was a little better still. Having that annoyance out of the way Tony turned back to Yinsen.

"Stark." He said weakly.

"C'mon. We gotta go." Tony said as he pulled his mask up. "Move with me, c'mon. We got a plan. We're gonna stick to it."

"This was always the plan, Stark." Oookay, blood loss has made him delirious.

"Come on, you're gonna go see your family. Get up."

"My family is dead. I'm going to see them now, Stark. It's okay. I want this."

Tony sighed and smiled. He remembered Yinsen's pep talk when he was depressed when he first arrived. He asked him if that was the last act of defiance of Mr. Tony Stark. Well, this was his. It was clear that the man didn't mind dying. On the contrary, he was hoping for it, but just wanted the last _oomph_ before departing from this world. And suicide didn't give that.

"Thank you for saving me." He told Yinsen.

"Don't waste it. Don't waste your life. Tell you… tell your lady friend how you… feel about her… And Stark…?"

Tony had to lean over, as much as his armor allowed, to be able to hear Yinsen's whispers.

"Kids are a blessing not a curse…"

Those were the last words of Yinsen.

Tony blinked and just stood there for a moment, before remembering that he was still kind of in a hotspot. He pulled his mask back on and got ready to depart. Hopefully with his spleen intact.

He walked straight out of the cave and found a welcoming committee of armed terrorist. He heard a man yell and suddenly there was a rain of fire on him. After they had stopped Tony said in a morbid tone of voice "My turn." And opened _real_ fire on them.

The men scattered, but Tony didn't cease fire, yet. He still had his own weapons to destroy. Apparently the terrorists didn't like it, so they quickly opened fire on him again. This didn't feel very pleasant, add to the fact that he was standing in the middle of fire in an iron suit. It was getting too warm for comfort and oxygen was becoming a problem as well. Oh, someone just got a lucky shot at his knee- luckily not his real flesh knee. Giving one last jet of fire, he pushed a few control buttons on his arm and took off in the air.

That was _really_ exhilarating! Unfortunately, it only lasted a few seconds and dooooown he went again. The landing was short and rough and Tony suddenly found himself chest deep in sand in the middle of metallic rubble. He took off his mask and looked around.

"Not bad." He said. Well, he _did_ build this thing in a cave and had almost _no_ test runs whatsoever. That aside… he was going to be _so_ sore in the morning.

Somehow Tony managed to wiggle himself out of the pile of sand and scrap metal and start his trek in the desert. The heat felt excruciating, especially on his shoulders, but he didn't dare take his jacket away from his head, because exposing his bare head to the sun would probably give him a stroke. He really didn't know how long he had stumbled around that damn dry place when two military choppers flew overhead.

Tony yelled and waved and the choppers landed. Tony fell on his knees in relief and his fingers formed a peace sign. A few guys jumped out of the machine and ran to him. Was that…? No way!

"How was the 'fun-vee'?" Asked Rhodey.

Tony closed his eyes and laughed. He would've cried too, hadn't he been so dehydrated already.

"Next time, you ride with me, okay?"

Then Rhodey pulled Tony in to a hug.

_It was time to go home._

**

* * *

**

**Word count:**** 7248**

**Thank you for reading.**


	6. Ch5: Home

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Iron Man.**** Actually I don't own **_**any**_** copyrights of anything. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob manages to capture Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: Went to see Iron Man 2****. I found it tad dodgy from trailer, but the movie itself was awesome! And the best part? It would so fit my plot, even if some lil' things are gonna have to be a tad hurried. About updates… well I suck with deadlines. Actually I have chronic tardiness. True story, my school records say I'm late for every 1****st**** class since… 7****th**** grade I think. I'll **_**try**_** to hurry the next update :D**

**Posted: 23.05.10**

* * *

Harry stepped on the pedal and accelerated the speed. Taking one look at the rearview mirror, he saw that Happy had some trouble keeping up. Smirking, Harry put on even more speed. Happy turned. Harry pouted, but there's nothing to do about Happy having to bring the car back to the company, and Harry Tony's sleek vehicle back to his house. But this was more fun with someone chasing!

All too soon Harry pulled into Tony's garage that was also his workshop. He parked, turned off the engine and got out of the car.

"Jarvis, can you hear me?" Harry asked a bit skeptically.

Several lights came to life.

"Since you have entrance here, why not?"

Harry shook his head and smiled.

"Could you notify me once Tony gets home?"

"Certainly."

"Thank you, Jarvis."

With that Harry Apparated home, not noticing the slight flicker on Jarvis's computer screen.

* * *

Harry was taking a shower. The one thing he missed about having short hair was that it was a lot easier to maintain. He had never had to worry about split ends and his hair never bothered him by getting stuck on his face. He used to have to choose his conditioner and shampoo carefully, until he invented his own brand that, while took awhile to apply properly, took care of the split ends and made it look all shiny. On the other hand, while the maintenance was a pain, the taming was a hell a lot easier. Harry's hair naturally held in a way that was somewhere between wavy and curly- the way a lot of women could spend hours trying to achieve. All he had to do was run a comb through and he was set to go.

Rinsing the last of the bubbles out, Harry turned to another pain: shaving. Because he was both a man and a woman his hair growth was also stuck somewhere in between. There was a stripe of hair growing from under his bellybutton, and also some around his chin. Thankfully that was all. He didn't know what he'd do if he actually had to shave his entire jaw or, heaven forbid, chest. _Shudder_. That could hurt, since he had a pair of sensitive _boobs_ for crying out loud.

When that was done, Harry toweled his hair dry. Yes, toweled! Blow-dryer took out certain necessary nutrients and made his hair dry, and spelling his hair dry made it mat together, making combing it nearly impossible.

Harry was halfway through with applying make-up when Kreatcher came in with a phone.

"Mistress's friend missus Potts is on the phone, mistress."

"Ah, okay. Give it here."

Kreatcher gave Harry the phone and left. Harry took the phone on one hand and continued applying mascara with the other.

"Hey, Pepper. What's up?"

"Hey, Helena. Since the boss is out, it's relatively quiet here, so I was hoping you'd like to have some breakfast with me. Had it yet?"

"Oh, sure, I'd love to. When and where?"

After Harry got the coordinates, he finished up quickly and went to have breakfast. Knowing what a pain it was to find a decent place to park in the city, he voted to have Kreatcher drive him. He was greeted by Pepper on the way to the restaurant. They greeted each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Helena. Hungry?"

"A little. You?"

"Starved. I started early today and haven't had a chance to grab anything yet."

"I thought you said it's quiet now that the boss is out. Why didn't you just sleep in?"

"You're kidding, right? I'm practically running his company for him; right now I just don't have to run his personal affairs for him as extra."

"Jesus Christ! How are you not dead on your feet?"

"By being a coffee addict. I practically need a cup before bed!"

Harry winced. Tony was a good man, but he was hopeless in some cases. Harry could think of only one thing to say in this situation.

"I'm buying."

"Why do you think I asked you to join me?" Pepper replied cheekily.

Harry mock gasped and punched Pepper's arm playfully.

"Pepper! Is that all I am to you? Hehe, I think you're staring to pick up some of Tony's charming personality."

"Well, somebody's got to fill in when he's away. Just watch, before long I'll be taking women to my bed."

Harry cracked up. Meanwhile they got to order their food and dig in. They were halfway finished when a man in a black suit showed up.

"Miss Potts?" Ha asked.

"Yes." Pepper asked the Stark Industries employee (nametag said it).

The man leaned over and whispered something onto her ear. In answer Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Great, Mr. Stark went missing again. He'll show up in a day or so, with lipstick on his collar."

Harry rolled his eyes too. That sounded like Tony, alright.

"Not this time, Miss Potts. His convoy was ambushed by some… locals on his way back to base."

Harry dropped his glass. It fell to the floor and shattered.

"What do you mean 'ambushed'?" Pepper asked.

"There was an armed attack. All of the bodies have been confirmed and there are no survivors, except for maybe one missing person."

"Stark…" Pepper whispered.

Pepper gripped the table and stared into space. She just couldn't believe it. Tony Stark, who didn't seem to have any bad luck whatsoever, seemed to fall into what many people only see in nightmares. It just didn't seem logical. She was pulled out of her shock, however, when she heard hyperventilation coming from in front of her. She raised her gaze to see Helena rapidly breathing while fanning herself with one hand and clutching her chest with the other. Her eyes were in tears, but none of them escaped down her cheeks.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Pepper exclaimed and was up on her feet and next to Helena immediately.

"Okay, okay, you need to calm down. We don't need two funerals." That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say as the brunette started hyperventilating with a whine. On top of that they were starting to have audience.

"Oh, shi- Helena! Tony's fine. He's just fine, you hear? He's Tony Stark, he can do anything."

All of a sudden, Helena stopped breathing and went completely still.

When Harry first heard that Tony was missing, and possibly dead, it seemed like his nervous system shut down. No way! He was through losing people who were dear to him, this couldn't be happening! Not again! Before he knew it, he was having a panic attack for the first time in his life.

Vaguely he registered someone patting him on the back and telling him something, but all he could hear was his own blood flushing through his ears and a mantra of '_no, no, no_' echoing through his mind. But through the fog of panic one word was able to penetrate through: funeral. Needless to say, that didn't make him feel _any_ better.

He didn't want to lose Tony! He had lost so many people dear to him already. To think that he could never see his face if he did di… Or not. Harry calmed down.

He may have to return to England for this.

"Pepper?"

"Helena! Jesus, you scared me for a moment. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I… I think I want to go home."

"Okay."

Pepper ended up having to pay for both their meals.

* * *

Despite having bathed barely hours ago, Harry could be found standing under a shower after Pepper got him home. Harry needed time to think, but first he needed to clear his head and freezing water did that well. After that was achieved, Harry quickly dried and dressed, not bothering to completely dry his hair. He briskly walked to the greenhouse and took on a simple maintenance chore and allowed himself to think.

They said that there were no survivors with only one possible exception. Tony had led a comfortable life and was stranger to hardships, so wherever he was it probably wasn't good in any way. Whether or not he was alive was unknown. And that was what Harry found the most frustrating. Having lost many people he cared about Harry was no stranger to the pain that came from a deceased one, but this question mark above Tony's well being prevented Harry from mourning.

What was Harry to do? Mourn someone who was not dead, or wait for someone who wouldn't ever return? This didn't sound appealing in the slightest.

But even if Tony was dead, Harry felt like he needed to see him at least one more time. Hence why he may need to return to England. Oh how he regretted throwing the Resurrection Stone away now. Oh, he wasn't planning on actually reviving Tony; that would only lead to more heartache. He just wanted to temporarily summon him from the afterlife- just once.

But now the problem was that he actually had to come to face his old life. _Oy vey_.

* * *

It took Harry nearly an _entire month_ to finally get the courage to return to his homeland. And right now he was walking out of the airport. _Home, sweet home my ass_. Harry thought. London brought back nothing but bad memories.

"Are we going back to Grimmuald now, mistress?" Asked Kreatcher, who had accompanied Harry on his trip.

Harry let out an irritated sigh.

"There's really no other option. You're going to get to see your old mistress soon."

Harry grimaced at the thought of going back to _that_ house, but it didn't look like he had any other option. Kreatcher, on the other hand, was so excited he looked ready to pop. The two walked into one of London's many crooked back alleys and disappeared into thin air.

The duo reappeared in front of the old familiar house of Grimmuald Place. Nothing had changed; it looked as dreary as ever. Kreatcher opened the front door and stepped aside to let Harry go in. The insides were the same as ever, except a bit dustier. Thank god for small miracles: no one was using the house! From the looks of it the house hadn't been inhabited since Harry left the place.

"Could you fix up Sirius' old room for me before going to see your old mistress, Kreatcher?"

"Of course, mistress. Kreatcher will do right away, mistress."

The once tall, elderly looking butler had stripped his disguise and was looking like a house elf once again. He grabbed the luggage and disappeared.

Harry sighed and started walking around the house, all the while randomly throwing cleaning charms here and there to get rid of the dust. He came upon a big mirror. Harry looked at his reflection miserably. With another sigh he brought his wand near his head.

"_Diffindo_."

Several of his long locks fell to the ground.

* * *

Harry was looking at the full length mirror. The make-up was off, hair cropped short, T-shirt and trousers, no dresses, no accessories, and the old pair of round glasses on his nose. Well, actually, the glasses were just for show since he had his eyes fixed a few moths after moving to Malibu. Laser surgery rocked! But that aside, Harry still thought he looked different than he used to. No matter who he had been before, right now he looked far too feminine still. Well, he had always been a scrawny kid, but now as a man he should look a little bit more masculine. Of course for a woman Harry had a strong physique, but for a male… well, you get the picture. He just in case had a bandage wrapped around his chest to… minimize… aspects. With a huff Harry pulled a jacket on and Apparated away.

Harry appeared in front of a large manor. He stood there for a minute, letting the memories wash over him. Let's only hope this encounter will be better that the last time he was here. Who was he kidding? _That _at least was guaranteed. With a deep breath he rang the bell of the large door.

A house elf opened the door.

"Hello. Is Draco here?"

The little being squeaked and stepped back to let Harry in. She closed the door behind him and popped away. For a moment Harry stood in complete silence. Well, this is creepy.

"Mr. Potter… The look doesn't flatter you."

Harry turned to look at Draco who looked as smug as ever.

"I don't like it either, but unfortunately it's necessary."

"I must say I didn't expect to see you here. With the way you looked so… _comfortable_ with your new life."

"Trust me, there's trouble even in paradise. How's Astoria?"

Draco's face started twitching.

"Whatever you do, don't mention babies near her. She had a miscarriage."

There is a saying keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Whatever the case Draco thought he knew Harry rather well, so he really didn't expect the feminine man to throw his arms around him and start slobbering all over him.

"Whoa, what's this all about?"

"I'm sorry." Harry all but cried and took a step back.

Harry took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Tony's missing."

Draco raised his brow elegantly.

"So? He's a muggle, right? Just use a locator charm or…"

"He went missing in Afghanistan."

"… Oh."

Afghanistan really wasn't a good place for European wizards to be. It was kind of like the Bermuda Triangle, full of wild, untamed magic. For people like Draco and Harry who tamed their magic, going to Afghanistan would be like jumping into a tornado. The small amount of native wizards didn't actually wield magic, but let magic wield them.

"Well, I don't see any way I could help you in that way." Draco said sympathetically.

Harry sighed unhappily.

"I didn't dare hope that you could. The main reason I'm here is to tell you that our deal will probably come to a hiatus."

Draco raised an eyebrow again.

"Don't look at me like that, Draco. I need something I left in Hogwarts' forest. I doubt I'd be able to get it without alerting the headmistress. And I definitely don't trust her to keep her mouth shut about me."

"McGonagall is a pretty trustworthy woman, but I agree that she wouldn't keep shushed about something like this."

"This is all, I guess, except… could I borrow an owl?"

* * *

The letter Harry sent to McGonagall didn't reveal his identity. It merely stated that he was a former student who left a sentimentally valuable possession behind and would like to collect it as soon as possible, and that the object was too well hidden for anyone but him to find it. He just hoped he didn't sound too suspicious. Now he waited for an answer. And waited. And waited for three stupid days before the lazy old hag got off her bony ass and quilled down a reply. The letter was pretty short. It stated that she would meet him on a Hogsmeade weekend at the Three Broomsticks to personally escort him to wherever he needed.

Harry was very surprised. The headmistress had time to do this personally? Aside from running a school that was supposedly the best of its kind? Did they suspect it was him?

So on this lovely Saturday afternoon found Harry sitting in the overcrowded Three Broomsticks pub. Personally Harry thought Hog's Head would've been a better place to rendezvous simply because there it's actually possible to find the person you want to find!

Still, here he was, sitting with his hood drawn up and a butterbeer in his hand. Oh, there was McGonagall… with several other teachers. That pompous old cunt took a table with her colleagues without any visible remorse. She straightened up and glanced around the pub every once in awhile. She didn't actually think Harry would simply walk up to her while in this crowded room, did she? He mentioned that it was personal and would've liked it to be quick! As in, no need for others to know he was even there.

Harry sat behind the same table moodily for an hour until the dried up bag of bones finally decided to leave. Harry got up as well and followed her out of the pub. He followed her and another person accompanying her. They turned around the corner and Harry followed them there as well. The next thing he knew he was staring at the clouds.

"Suspicious. Neville, check for his wand."

Harry's eyebrow started twitching.

"I… was…. annoyed at…. you for your… disrespectful behavior earlier when I politely asked you to meet so I could collect something very important to me. Now I'm downright pissed."

Harry grumbled and clumsily pushed himself to sitting position. The plant bracelet he wore ate away foreign magic that didn't belong to Harry. Neville and McGonagall, however, received quite a shock to see the headmistress' body bind dissolve so fast. They didn't waste any time and pointed their wands at him stiffly.

"Put those things away, I'm annoyed as it is. Geez, the war is over, get a life you two."

The two however didn't make a move to lower their wands.

"How have you been, Neville? I couldn't believe you took up a job at Hogwarts, when I first hear it. The worst career choice you could've made, I think."

"Who are you to-"

"As paranoid as you are, I'd like to know _why_ on earth you'd agree to help only to turn psycho on me, McGonagall?"

The old woman gripped her wand tighter. Her eyes glinted angrily.

"It is my duty to guarantee the students' safety. A person trying to sneak in so soon after the war is…"

"I really _should_ have snuck in and taken what I left behind. Would've saved me a lot of shit."

McGonagall opened her mouth to say some comeback, but Harry didn't let her have word.

"I'm gonna say this once: just let me get what I came back to this miserable country for."

For a while no one did or said anything. Then Neville told Harry to remove his hood. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes, but did as asked. The two did what was expected: spluttered. After the initial shock wore off, suspicion crept in.

"How do we know you're really Harry Potter? You could be a fake." Said McGonagall.

"Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass, because as soon as I get what I came for I'm going back home."

"Do you think it's polyjuice?" Neville whispered to his employer.

"Where would I get the necessary ingredient of a body part?" Harry asked with another eye roll.

"You could've saved one."

"Would expired hair even work? Anyway, I should look a few years younger if that were the case. Now could we _please _get this over with?"

"Maybe we should ask him something only Harry would know, Minerva?"

"Yes, that's a good idea, Neville."

"Umm, what is Harry's patro-."

"If you're going to ask what my _patronus_ is, I'm going to scream. That's almost common knowledge, idiot."

Harry rubbed his temples. He wasn't usually so unpleasant, but he's been in a constant bad mood ever since Tony's disappearance and his feelings were expressed in this inopportune moment.

"This can't be Harry. He'd never call me an idiot." Neville whispered, but Harry heard that.

"What do you expect? I told you, the item I came for is extremely valuable to me! Just let me get it and I'll go. It's not even in the castle itself!"

As mentioned before Harry had been a little sensitive the past month. It expressed in anger, and now in anguish. The two Hogwarts' professors were quite taken aback with the sight of the tears that made appearance in the corners of the dark haired man's eyes. Feeling suddenly very uneasy, they didn't know what to do about this situation.

"Hey, hey, you can't blame us for being cautious. If you could just get us proof that-" Neville started softly, but didn't lower his wand much.

"**FUCK YOU!**" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs and Apparated to Grimmuald.

It was a miracle that Harry didn't splinch himself. He leaned on the nearest flat object for support while the tears forced themselves down his cheeks, completely against his better judgment. In a moment Kreatcher was by his side, offering him strong tea. Harry shook his head and asked for something stronger.

"Kreatcher doesn't think Mistress should-"

"_Now,_ Kreatcher."

A direct order was impossible for a house elf to ignore. A moment later found Harry with a glass of single malt. He downed it and then another, and another. He had been _so close_. _So close _to seeing Tony again.

The cracking sound and pain in his hand indicated that he had squeezed his glass broken. Harry's breath hitched and he stiffened. No! That was _not _why he wanted the stone. Tony might not be dead. And he was _not _going to grieve unless he actually had to. Tony's death was not confirmed- so he wasn't going to mourn! Just like that the waterfall that had made itself down his face, stopped.

He was going to get the stone, whether he had to sneak in or use diplomacy! With a sigh he picked the shards of glass out of his hand. After that was done he snatched the rest of the bottle and went to bed.

In the morning Harry woke up feeling like a squid had taken up residence in his stomach. His eyes felt like they had been removed and put back in backwards. On top of that there seemed to be a medieval miner in his brain who insisted on pounding his hammer against his skull. In other words he had a hangover.

Kreatcher came in with some potion and plenty of liquid and a newspaper. Harry took it without question.

"I'm mentioned already?" Harry asked quietly.

"No, mistress. Kreatcher thought mistress would like to be up to date with wherever mistress was, mistress."

Harry sighed. It's not like he could do anything more productive right now. He opened the paper and a report about werewolf rights trials stared back at him. He frowned and felt guilt start creeping up at him. It was no surprise that wizards still had sticks up their asses, but this reminded him of a certain someone he had been neglecting for over three years.

Teddy hadn't inherited his father's lycanthropy, thankfully, but he was being raised by his widowed grandmother who probably didn't have too much of an income. The ministry practically left Madame Pomfrey in the streets after she burned out her use, and Harry seriously doubted they were any nicer to his godson and his grandmother.

_I'm going to visit them_ he thought determined and stood up. Immediately he fell back with a groan. Okay, maybe later; they're probably still asleep anyway.

* * *

Harry was standing in front of a familiar house. He only hoped Mrs. Tonks hadn't moved, because that would really just plain suck. With a deep breath he knocked on the door. For a moment nothing happened, but then he heard some shuffling sounds. The door opened and a tired looking woman with rapidly graying hair peeked out. Once she realized who was on her front porch she opened the door wider.

"Well I'll be damned. Look who finally showed up." She said that in a tone that made Harry feel like a husband who had been gone for a decade and left the wife to raise a bunch of kids alone.

"Hey, Mrs. Tonks. Mind if I come in?"

She stepped back and let Harry come in. The place looked the same. The same couldn't be said for Andromeda, sadly. She looked half starved and the circles around her eyes were a testament for sleepless nights.

The two walked into the kitchen and Andromeda put on a kettle.

"You look exhausted. How have you been holding up?" Harry said while taking a seat.

Andromeda frowned.

"I have seen better days. After my husband and daughter, along with her husband, passed on there hasn't been anyone with an income. Teddy and I have been living on savings, and those have been getting dangerously scarce. Especially since I was disinherited when I married Ted. You'll have to excuse me if I can't offer you any biscuits, since I don't have any." She poured Harry some hot water and tapped the cup transforming it into tea.

"How's Teddy been?"

A shadow of a smile appeared on Andromeda's face.

"Like his mother when she was young. The tyke is a joyful bundle of mischief, always getting into trouble."

She waved her wand and a leather bound book floated into the room. Harry took it and opened the first page. A smile crept to his lips as he looked at the photos of Teddy. It started as a baby with multicolor hair being cradled in his parents' arms, to multicolor haired baby with his grandmother, to multicolor haired toddler with his grandmother. Harry frowned when he noticed that there were more pictures of _him_ in there that any of the Weasleys or the other old crowd.

"Haven't the Weasley's given you _any _helping hand?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Why? You haven't been here so they have no real connection to my grandson. You may not have noticed, but only you were somewhat close to my daughter or her husband. The others pretty much only saw them as a former teacher and a woman with a good sense of humor. Sure they visit every now and then, especially William and his wife. Their daughter is around a year old and awfully fond of Teddy."

"I'm sorry I haven't been here, Mrs. Tonks, I…"

"No need to apologize, boy. I have eyes I know you never would've gotten any semblance of peace otherwise." Andromeda waved her hand dismissively. "Still, a little compensation every now and then would've been nice." She muttered as a side note.

Harry frowned. As a former Black, Harry never would've believed Andromeda's pride would've allowed her to ask for any sort of monetary aid. Madame Pomfrey had been extremely embittered too, and only recently seemed to have returned to her old matrony self. How bad were things here, really?

"Have you eaten anything, lately?" Harry asked softly.

Andromeda looked a little embarrassed.

"I eat what I can find. Mostly I have to forage for myself, but the best parts go to Teddy, of course. This winter is going to be rough." She sighed.

"I'll start sending you regular checks." Harry said with determination.

Andromeda looked startled.

"Really, that's not necessary. Some help any now and then is appreciated, but-"

"I don't want to hear anything about it. I probably won't be present much in my godson's life, but I want to make sure his childhood is as happy as possible. The line of work I do makes it more than possible for me support you."

Andromeda smiled sincerely for the first time.

"Does your work really take that much time that you won't be able to visit your cute godson?"

"Well, no, actually, but I live quite far away. Like too far for Apparation."

"I think your little godson would miss you." Andromeda said slightly singsong like, her eyes full of mischief and not on Harry at all.

Harry turned around and saw a teal haired boy peering at him from behind the door. Harry looked the boy in the eyes and after awhile they turned the same shade of green his own were. A wide smile appeared on Harry's face.

"Hello, Teddy. What are you doing hiding behind the door? Come on out here."

For a moment Teddy didn't do anything. Then he bashfully walked into the room. After getting a little nearer to Harry he bolted and hid behind his grandmother. After a moment of hiding he peered from behind her with a shy grin.

"Do you remember who I am, Teddy?"

"You were mummy and daddy's friend." They boy said and hid behind his grandmother again.

Harry laughed.

"That I was. Now, why don't you stop hiding? How am I supposed to give you your present if I can't see you?"

Harry said with a mock sadness.

"Present?" Teddy sounded a little too hopeful for Harry's liking.

He took a step closer to Harry, but still remained by Andromeda. Harry took a package out of his pocket, enlarged it, and reached it towards Teddy. Teddy forgot all about his apparent shyness when presented with a gift. He left his grandmother's side and snatched the package. He sat down right there and tore away the paper. He pulled out a stuffed wolf that was almost as big as he was. The wolf's mane changed color every now and then.

"Awesome!" Teddy squealed and hugged the wolf.

"What do you say?" Andromeda said and Teddy looked up.

"Thank you." Teddy said with one really toothy grin.

Harry ended up spending his entire day with his godson, who made him promise to visit again tomorrow. And for a week that's what he did, until one evening, when Teddy was tucked into bed already, the old bones were dug up.

"I see you're quite happy playing with Teddy." Andromeda said while sipping a wine Harry had given her as a gift.

"Yes. Personality wise he definitely takes after her mother, but then again he doesn't have lycanthropy like his dad did."

"Hmm. There's one thing that I can't help but wonder."

"Hmm?"

"It's just I doubt that visiting Teddy was your original reason of returning. But as you've spent all your time here, I can't help but think what your original goal here was. I mean-"

Andromeda shut up when she saw the dark shadow appear on Harry's face.

"I left something at Hogwarts that is of extreme importance to me. I need it back."

"Hogwarts?" Andromeda asked, but then there was a knock on her front door.

"Who could be visiting at this hour?" Andromeda muttered to herself, but stood up anyway.

Harry sipped his tea and listened to Andromeda answer the door.

"A little late for a social call, isn't it, Mrs. Weasley."

"Sorry to bother you in this hour, Tonks."

Harry nearly chocked on his tea. That wasn't Molly Weasley's voice, but Hermione's!

"Neville told us about a possible impostor, masquerading as Harry. We just wanted to give you a heads up. And ask you if you've heard of anythi-"

"A heads up a week late. _Tut tut_. Had this been the wartime she would've been dead already." Harry called from the kitchen while sipping his tea.

There was thudding of feet and Ron and Hermione practically fell over each other trying to get through the kitchen door.

"Didn't even take off your shoes. How rude." Harry muttered.

"Harry!" Both of them shouted before suspicion crept in.

"Quiet! Teddy is sleeping." Andromeda came in and took out two more cups for tea.

"What was the name of the baby Chinese Fireball dragon that Hagrid had in our second year?" Asked Hermione. Smooth one.

"Norbert. And it was in out first year, and it wasn't a Chinese Fireball, it was a Norwegian Ridgeback." Harry answered with another sip. He grinned mischievously. "And Hermione started her period when she was fifteen .Two days before the Yule ball (1). You were pretty loud worrying about messing up your dress before I had to drag you to Madame Pomfrey so she could shut you up already." Hermione's and Ron's faces went beet red.

"Ron, your first kiss wasn't with Lavender. It was with Neville in our fourth year." Ron's face looked like it would pop with how much blood there was. Hermione gasped and looked at Ron with disbelief.

"Still doubt I'm not Harry?" Harry asked cheekily. Hey, they wanted something only Harry would know. They got it.

"Thanks for the tea, Andy. I'll be going home now."

"Take care, Harry."

Ron and Hermione were still feeling too embarrassed to stop him.

* * *

The morning after found Harry waking up to Kreatcher shouting and Mrs. Black screeching. Throwing on a bathrobe drowsily, Harry wandered down the hall and came face to face with half the Weasley clan: Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

"Whassa 'appened?" Harry asked, still feeling bleary.

The noise quieted down, except for Mrs. Black, and everybody turned to face him.

"Oh, Harry. Where have you been? We have been worried sick about you." Molly Weasley gushed and tried to make her way to him, but Kreatcher, ever the devoted house-elf, blocked her path.

"Bad Wheezy! Woke poor mistress up." He muttered angrily.

That woke Harry up a little more. He really needed to have a word with Kreatcher not to call him 'mistress' while in this kind of company. Hopefully they thought Kreatcher thought Mrs. Black.

"Kreatcher, go get us some tea, please. I'm awake now anyway."

Kreatcher muttered cusses, but left to do Harry's bidding.

As soon as Kreatcher was out of the way Mrs. Weasley practically flung at Harry with a flying hug. Harry urgently blocked her with his hands. She looked hurt but no way was he going to risk Mrs. Weasley feeling his bust.

"Would you excuse me while I go change? I'm sure Kreatcher has your tea ready just about now. Excuse me."

Harry went back to his room and charmed bandages around his chest area as quick as possible. Growing up as they did the Weasleys' didn't understand the concept of privacy very well. Thankfully they didn't bother him and he was able to finish dressing in peace. Going to find them he got the impression that they did, in fact, try to follow him, but Kreatcher put an end to that plan.

"Hey." He said cheerfully and took a seat, accepting the tea Kreatcher offered.

"Where have you been?" Hermione chose a direct tactic.

"Away, finally living my life the way the way I've always wanted to." Harry chose a not-so-direct answer.

"And you couldn't live your life the way you wanted here? With your friends?" Ron burst angrily. Harry frowned at him. Out of a family of temperamental redheads, Ron had the shortest fuse.

"Not really. How do you suppose I could? I have no privacy, the paparazzi is dogging me, if I do one wrong move I'll be crucified. And on top of that… my so called friends were _no different._" Harry said with a cheerful smile, but you quite easily see the sarcasm in it.

The entire room burst into a squabble, which Harry was all too happy to ignore. Suddenly there was a lovely chiming sound that shut everybody up. Everybody looked confused except for Harry who took out his phone. He flipped it open urgently and placed it against his ear.

"Hello." He said in a soft voice that surprised the room's other occupants.

"_Hello, Helena? Obadiah here. Sorry to bother you so late._"

"Has there been any news?"

"_Nothing. You might want to prepare yourself to accept that Tony is dead._"

"Well, until his body has been confirmed, I am _not _going to mourn."

"_Still, you could show how much you miss him by attending a… gathering __in Stark Industries. It's for new contacts purposes._"

For awhile Harry didn't say anything.

"_Helena?_"

"Tony's been missing for over a month. And you're THROWING A PARTY!"

"_Hey, hey now. Tony may be missing, but his company in still in full swing. Why don't you honor him by attending?_"

"I'm afraid you wasted a call, Obadiah. I'm still in England."

"_Ah, that's too bad. Well, I'll talk to you later, then. Hopefully with some news that time._"

"Yes, hopefully."

"_Good night, Helena._"

"G'night, Obadiah."

Harry flipped his phone shut and sighed. He blinked at the room full of people. For a moment he had forgotten they were there.

"Who was that?" Hermione said gently.

"Just… someone I know." Harry replied miserably. He had had hope for a few seconds that Tony had been found.

Obadiah's call made Harry miserable, but it had at least one positive side effect. All of the Weasleys knew the pain of freshly lost loved one, so they didn't push him for answers. This time. The duration of their stay was used for catching up instead.

* * *

"Kreatcher, how's your interstate Apparation?" Harry asked one evening. The house elf pulled a grimace.

"Not very good, mistress. Young house elfies can Apparate cross continents just fine, mistress. But old house elfies like Kreatcher should not. Old house elfies still can, mistress, but it's bad for them, mistress." Kreatcher didn't seem to like the fact that his age got in the way of serving his master to full capacity.

"Damn. I still don't have the stone, but I cannot leave my greenhouse unattended for too long." Harry muttered.

He pulled on an old leather jacket. He didn't much like the clothes he wore right now, but for appearance sake he did. He was getting ready for dinner in the burrow.

"Mistress?"

Harry was about to leave the house to Apparate away, but he turned around to face his house elf.

"Yes? What?"

"Maybe… mistress should think about… getting new house elfies? Kreatcher is getting old."

For a moment Harry mulled it over.

"If you think so. Although, I can't trust new house elves to know how to make sure my plants are alright, like you can. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for new house elves. I really don't have the time either."

Harry left the house and Disapparated, not noticing the proud and pleased look Kreatcher had at his unintended praise. Kreatcher popped out of existence as well, determined to find the best and devoted servants his race could offer.

Meanwhile Harry appeared at the front door of the Burrow. He knocked and Mrs. Weasley opened the door with a huge smile. She tried to give him a bear hug again, but was blocked like last time. She pouted but let him in. The family had already gathered. Ron and Hermione were playing chess, George was doing something with Ginny on the background, and Mr. Weasley came down from the stairs.

"Harry! Haven't seen your pretty mug in ages. Where've you been?" George said cheerfully. He looked a whole lot better the last time Harry had seen him. But then again the last time he had seen him he had just lost his twin with whom he'd been together since their conception.

"Busy." Harry replied elusively.

So they start dinner. The night before they had talked a lot: about Ron and Hermione's wedding, the birth of Bill's firstborn Victoire, George's business (Ron had helped him make it into a huge success, but now trains to become an Auror), and a whole bunch of other stuff. But the one thing they never brought up was Ginny's love life. That was a subject Harry _didn't_ want to breach, but might be necessary.

"Say, Harry, you are going to stay home now, right?" Said Ginny with an odd glint in her eye.

"Well, I'm going to have to go home soon. The line of work I do gives me a flexible schedule, but it pretty much forbids me to stay away for too long at a time."

"I meant home _here_. Not wherever you've been." She said, her brows knitting together.

"My home is no longer here. I've made a life I'm happy with. I don't want that life disturbed." Harry said with adamant finality in his voice, but it didn't look like Ginny was going to roll over and just take it though. So Harry turned the subject somewhere he wanted to avoid otherwise.

"Say Ginny, Ron and Hermione tied the knot recently and Bill has a bundle of his own joy now. What about you? Seeing anyone?"

The ominously excited look in her eyes made Harry suddenly very nervous. How did she translate that last sentence?

"Well, I hooked up with Dean again for awhile but… we broke up again recently."

"That's a real shame." Harry said quietly.

"What about you, Harry? Anyone special in your life?" She asked and sat up straighter.

Harry looked at his hands and smiled wistfully. Without raising his eyes he said sadly and quietly.

"Yeah. I do."

It was a bit of a white lie. For one, he wanted Ginny off his back, and another, he _did_ have someone special. Tony was very special to him, even if they weren't in an official romantic relationship. No matter how nice that idea may sound to him.

Suddenly Harry's breath hitched. Harry never lied to himself about his attraction towards Tony, and he had always enjoyed his company and his egotistical ways always made him laugh. He never realized this, but this past year he'd known Tony… he had actually fallen in love with the man.

And now, he may never see him alive again.

That realization made Harry's eye involuntarily tear up.

"I need to go to Hogwarts." He said and stood up.

Immediately the entire clan was on him and bickering at him.

"Shut up!" Harry shouted suddenly and very loudly. The shock o his sudden aggression helped achieve just that.

"You know I am not an impostor. I need to go to Hogwarts to retrieve something I dropped around the time I killed Voldemort."

* * *

It took Harry a week to finally be granted access to Hogwarts. When he did, he wasted no time going to the Forbidden Forest and summoning the stone to him. He was in and out of Hogwarts on less than ten minutes, which annoyed the headmistress as she wanted Harry to stay for a meal. But Harry had more important things to do right now. Like making sure whether or not Tony is still alive. Giving everybody a warning not to disturb him that night, he went to his bedroom and concentrated on the stone.

For a moment nothing happened, then there was an invisible wind on his face, and he could _feel. _He felt Tony's life force. Still strong, and relatively healthy too.

Harry smiled the widest smile since ever. His Tony was still alive! Let's hope he'll find his way back home still.

* * *

Going back home was inevitable now. He'd been gone for nearly three weeks and he really couldn't put off leaving his vegetation unattended. So, with promises to Teddy to be back real soon, he took on his usual form (the Helena-look) and went home. But back at home a surprise was waiting for him. At home a couple of house elves were waiting for him. Like, _literally_ a couple of elves. A newly mated pair who were looking for a new family to serve.

"Mistress should have new helpers with how old Kreatcher is getting, mistress." The ancient house elf said, looking a lot prouder now for some reason. Harry turned to Kreatcher and gave him a hug, nearly making the small thing have a heart attack from happiness.

The bonding ceremony was over in a jiffy, and Harry wasted no time in teaching the elves about how to take care of the plants and what plants were übersensitive to even house elf magic.

So within a week Harry left Malibu again. Staying there just seemed painful without the lovable narcissist around. By now he had been missing for two whole months.

…

The end of November rolled by and Tony had been missing for three months now. Meanwhile Harry had found a bit of Tony's DNA from his house, with some help from Jarvis. So to alleviate boredom Harry had taken up creating a bracelet for Tony. It had to be as durable as possible, and have at least _some _protective features, not to mention it couldn't look ghastly. Well, they didn't call him (rather her, actually) a genius in botany for no reason. And as luck would have it, Harry had just finished the bracelet _one day_ before he got 'the call'.

He was playing with Teddy at the time when his cell went off. He was a bit surprised to see Tony's home in the caller's ID.

"Hello?"

"_Miss Helena, this is Jarvis_."

"Oh, hi Jarvis. What made you make this call?"

"_No real interest for myself. You just asked me to notify when Mr. Stark got home_."

"Wait, WHAT? Tony's home? He's been found? How is he, is he okay?"

"_His_ _limbs are intact and he is walking with no need for aid, so my guess is he's physically in a satisfying enough condition. That's good, considering he is about to give a press conferenc_e."

"A press conference?"

"_I would suggest you turn on a TV, unless, of course, you wish to see him personally first. But then again, you'd miss his charming debut for being back for less than an hour_."

"Thank you, Jarvis." With that he hung up.

Completely ignoring Andromeda he ran to the living room and grabbed the remote. He flipped it on and didn't even need to surf to find what he was looking for. It was on the first news channel.

"Oh my. That lost billionaire has been found." Andromeda said quite nonchalantly. Being the widow of a muggleborn she is quite up to date about the going-ons in the muggle world, mostly because she has a television and Teddy likes to watch cartoons in the morning. Of course there are 5-minute news in between shows sometimes.

"You know him? Or are you just an avid fan?" She said jokingly to Harry.

"His disappearance is the reason I came back to England." Harry said with no humor in his voice.

Andromeda's eyes widened a little and she clamped her mouth shut. Yes, apparently Harry _did _know the formerly missing billionaire.

The two watched as the press conference started, and Tony sat down while eating a burger. Harry smiled at the way Tony still seemed pretty indifferent towards the people around him. He smiled all throughout his interview, except when he said that he's closing the weapons manufacturing department.

Harry didn't want to even think about what Tony had to live through to make him make that decision; especially considering how immediate that decision was.

"I wanna watch cartoons!" Teddy said from behind him.

Harry turned to his godson, and kneeled eye-level next to him.

"Teddy, sweetie, I'm going to go back home."

The boy's eyes widened and his turquoise hair turned black.

"No, I don't want you to!" He protested loudly.

"Sorry, baby, but I have to go home. But I'll visit every now and then. Maybe you and granny Andy can visit me too. But you're going to have to call me Aunt Helena, instead of Uncle Harry, then." Harry said with a smile.

"I still don't want you to go!" Teddy said with a pout.

Harry had shown up as Helena on their doorstep a month ago. He figured that Teddy and Andromeda had the right to know about this, so he told them the truth. And that if they ever visited him, they'd have to call him Helena. Of course he made both of them promise not to say a word to anyone about this.

Harry kissed and hugged Teddy, nodded goodbye to Andromeda, and left home to pack.

He was going home.

About time too. As Ginny had a hard time accepting reality, along with the rest of her family. Inevitably they did the same mistake as last time and lost Harry the same way the second time. What a shame.

* * *

**PS: I hope you don't think Harry's too emotional in this chapter. I just wanted to emphasize how much Tony was missed.**

**Also, should I bump the rating to M?**

**1-**** Hermione's birthday is in September, so she's almost a year older that Harry (add the time turner 3****rd**** year, she's probably way more than one year older anyway).**

**Word count:**** 7958 (NOT counting my side notes)**

**Thanks for reading.**


	7. Ch6: Harry, Tony and Dick

**Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Iron Man. Actually I don't own **_**any**_** copyrights of anything. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.**

**Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob manages to capture Harry's attention. And vice versa.**

**Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.**

**Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony**

**A/N: The shortest chapter I have so far. I know it's unfair, especially considering the gap between updates, but everyone gets writer's blocks, and I had one helluva bitch sitting on me. For that I'm sorry. I'll try to post another chapter within two weeks.**

**A/N2: ****Please check my bio if you're confused about Harry/Tony's ages/timeline. The posted timeline's incomplete, of course, because otherwise I'd be giving away spoilers. And yes I did reduce Tony's age a lot.**

**Posted: 07.10.10**

* * *

Flying in a military jet was definitely not as fun or comfortable than flying in your own private jet. However, the last time Tony chose fun over safe in Afghanistan he found himself abducted by a gang of terrorists. Also after living in a cave for three months, riding a stuffy military aircraft for one ride would be good enough even for a king. So Tony had no complaints, just as long they got him back home. The nice breeze of American air for the first time in three months was most welcome.

After the jet had landed, Tony got off the wheelchair. Not that he actually needed one; he just wanted someplace comfy to sit on this flight. Nevertheless, Rhodey helped him up and held on to him as they exited the plane. Hey, there's Pepper! With a slightly cocky air, he made his way towards her.

"Your eyes are red." was the first thing he noticed about her "A few tears for your long lost boss?" He asked cheekily.

Pepper didn't mind at all. If anything, she looked happier to hear that than Tony had ever seen her.

"Tears of joy. I hate job hunting." Of course she'd never admit she actually missed him. At least not out loud or too obviously (or to him directly).

"Yeah, vacation's over." And neither would Tony.

They made their way to the car. Aww _man_ did Tony miss the car. Well, not as much as his sports cars, but he still missed it! It had a driver!

"Where to, sir?" Happy asked from the front seat.

Happy! Aww, he missed Hogan too.

"Take us to the hospital, Happy." Pepper said but was interrupted by Tony.

Pepper turned to Tony, disbelievingly. She tried to persuade him that he had to go to the hospital and have a doctor take a look at him, but Tony was adamant that he didn't _have_ to do anything. Tony looked at Pepper straight in the eyes and said.

"I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. I want an American cheeseburger, and the other-"

"That's enough of that."

Hey, she didn't even let him finish. But that was to be expected he supposed. After all he was a pretty notorious playboy, and he'd been without female company for an entire season, probably.

"It's not that. I want you to call for a press conference, now. Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first."

Tony ignored Pepper's frantic questions. He had one he wanted answered himself.

"Where's Helena? Waiting for me at the hospital?" If that were the case he might actually reconsider going.

Pepper stopped her ranting and looked at Tony.

"Didn't Rhodey tell you?"

"Tell me what? He didn't tell me anything."

"She left for England about two months ago."

"England? For how long for?"

"Umm, she didn't tell. She said she wanted to spend some time with her godson-"

"Helena has a godson?"

"Yeah, I didn't know about him either. Anyway, she didn't mention when she'll be returning."

"Well, call her later and tell her I'm home."

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

Pepper felt skeptical for whatever reason her boss wanted a press conference, but she made a few quick calls anyway. Pretty soon they were on their way to the conference with Tony munching on a cheeseburger happily.

Afterwards Happy pulled up to the driveway and the door was opened by Obadiah. He boisterously gave Tony a hug as soon as he was out of the car. That old geezer always did have a flare for dramatics- he loved public attention even more than Tony did! And _that_ was saying something.

Tony made an excuse of having only one burger when Obadiah asked why Tony didn't bring him one, while actually hiding another in his jacket pocket. He wasn't guilty of greed; he really did need that! While munching on a burger, they made their way into the building and into the press conference room where Tony announced his immediate decision to shut down the weapons manufacturing department. That got him one hell of an uproar.

After the conference was over, Tony had a private discussion with Obadiah. They talked a bit about the stock drop that would undoubtedly follow, and he showed him his miniaturized arc reactor. Obadiah liked the idea of this technology, and told Tony that they could pull this off if they stuck together. He asked Tony to lay low and let him take care of everything, so that Tony could work on whatever he wanted to do with the arc reactor. Tony agreed.

Afterwards Tony finally arrived home.

"Welcome home, sir." Jarvis greeted him.

"Thank you, kindly, Jarvis." Tony said back while walking with a slow stroll, taking in the old comfortable space he respected with a whole new vigor.

"It's been a long time." Jarvis said "Based on news reports, I calculated your safe return at 0.25%"

"Yeap. I missed you too." Tony said and took a seat by a coffee table with several gifts on it.

He took a look at a box with a new wristwatch in it. It had a letter that had '_TONY, THANK GOD IT WASN'T YOUR TIME. –OBADIAH'_ written on it.

Tony got comfortable and took off his jacket. He went to the window and took a look at the nightly view.

"You have 1713 new voice messages." Said Jarvis and the window took on holographic images of Tony's email box. "How shall I categorize for you?"

Tony didn't say anything at first, just shuffled through them a bit. "Delete all." Was what he finally said.

"I'm detecting the presence of electromagnetic energy in the house."

"Mmhuh. Boot up the scanner, will you." Tony said and went downstairs to the shop to start scanning the arc reactor in his chest.

He had just managed to complete the scan and was about to start analyzing, but he never did make it to that on that evening. Just as he was about to start a complete scan, he heard a now familiar crack upstairs. Immediately he was on his feet, and on his way upstairs. Funny thing is, he never actually made it to the actual stairs either, as a lean blur pounced on him and held on hard.

* * *

After Jarvis' call Harry was in the biggest hurry in his life, for a while. In a flash he was home (Grimmuald), things packed, and ready to go. But then he passed a mirror. _Shit_, he couldn't go see Tony looking like _that_. He wanted to look nice after three months of absence. Then he remembered that he didn't have a plane ticket either. Just perfect! Why hadn't he taken a leaf out of Tony's book and purchased a private jet of his own? All in all, all he was able to do now was purchase an emergency ticket to America, down another hair growth potion, wait for the potion to finish its job, shave, and finally go back home.

He did all that. The biggest problem he encountered then was that the nearest flight to Malibu landed in Las Vegas. Though that didn't bother Harry much, it would be no problem Apparating that distance.

By the time the plane landed Harry was glad he wore trousers. Apparently the potion hadn't _completely_ finished its work when he shaved. After finally exiting the airport, Harry made his way to the nearest secluded spot to Apparate.

As soon as he got home he summoned his elves to take care of his luggage. Harry practically sprinted to his bathroom, hitting his big toe in the progress, desperately trying to make himself look presentable. It was only when he was ready to actually go, he stopped dead.

Out of nowhere Harry started laughing. It was a hysterical laugh, not a happy one. The only thing he needed to do now was Apparate. Just one lousy Apparation. But… then what? What if this was a prank and Tony wasn't actually home (right now Harry's brain didn't register the fact that he'd seen him live on TV earlier), or what if he was home? _Then what?_

Harry's hands were shaking with nerves, but he forced himself to take a slow calming breath. He put a smile on his face. It was said that Gryffindors were brave to the point of foolishness. They liked to take action without thinking first, and by god was Harry one of the reasons why it's actually the truth. Well, Harry was planning on doing just what his old reputation declared, and worry about the consequences later.

With a crack Harry Apparated outside Tony's house. Just in case in a secluded place, if some paparazzi were lurking about. He could've taken a car, but that would've given him too much time to think now that his head had cleared up.

Ever since Harry put on the resurrection stone, he had been able to sense life forces way better and more accurately than before. And right now he could sense only one life force within quarter mile radius- more specifically Tony's.

Harry walked towards the house, his fingers feeling like they had been dipped into an electric current. Feeling the door he discovered it to be locked. Not letting that get in the way, he Apparated in, not even bothering with _Alohomora_. A light was shining from Tony's workshop.

The concept of Tony being within arm's reach suddenly became so very real. As if a dam had broken, Harry took into a run down the stairs. Probably not the smartest or safest thing to do, but it was _so_ worth it when Harry flung himself towards a familiar body. He held on for dear life, almost as if to choke the stuffing out of said body.

"Well, this is the most enthusiastic welcome back I've had so far." Tony managed to wheeze out.

Helena was surprisingly strong for a girl. Not that Tony wasn't pleased to have her body all over his, but he really _couldn't_ enjoy it if he's passed out from lack of oxygen, now could he?

Finally she loosened her hold and backed off only enough to look at his face. Tony half expected (or rather wishfully thought) her to confess her love, but mostly just how much she missed him.

"When did you have time to see a hairdresser?" was the first thing Helena Potter said to Tony Stark after three months of absence.

Tony burst out laughing.

"Just a little trim I did for myself on my flight home. I can't in a million years face the public looking like a poster boy for cavemen, now can I? Though, I looked dead ravishing even before anyway." (1)

Harry didn't say anything to that, just put his head on Tony's shoulder and hugged him tighter. Tony wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him closer. Tony buried his nose in Helena's hair, breathing in the scent that was just Helena's.

Suddenly Helena pulled away with a slightly confused expression.

Harry was happy to be so tightly in Tony's embrace. Come to think of it they have never held each other so physically close before. Although even if they hadn't, Harry noticed something slightly off about the hug. Like the unusual hardness around Tony's chest area (shouldn't that normally be a little lower?).

Harry pulled away, his hands still resting against Tony's chest, and noticed a weird glow that seemed out of place somehow.

Harry poked it.

It had a hard surface and seemed metallic. Even though Harry didn't know what could be funny about this situation, Tony burst out laughing.

"What is this?" Harry asked, still curious.

"Oh, this… um well, it's a magnet… imbedded in my chest."

"…"

Harry didn't say anything a first, just stared at it.

"Take off your shirt, I wanna see it."

Harry knew immediately he said something off, judging by the smirk that made its way to Tony's mouth.

"Why, dear, I never thought you'd ask. Will you give me a striptease yourself later?"

Harry blushed cherry red. What does one say to _that_? So while Tony took off his shirt, Harry simply stood in silence.

"You've lost weight, though not as much as I expected." Harry commented after the article of clothing had been fully discarded.

"Yeah, Yinsen was a pretty decent cook, especially considering the quality of the rations we had. So I'm still sexy, thankfully."

Harry stood closer and put his hand on the reactor, studying it.

"Yinsen?" He asked, not taking his eyes away from the round electromagnet.

"He was some professor guy who was being held hostage with me. Helped me attach this thing too." Tony said and pointed at the arc reactor.

"What happened exactly? Why do you need this thing?"

"Ehh, I got hit by one of my own mines, got some shrapnel stuck too close to my heart to be removed manually. This magnet pretty much keeps me alive by keeping the metal away from my heart."

"Ohh. And that's part of the reason you had such a turnaround and shut down your biggest income?"

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"You hear about that, huh."

"Along with the rest of the planet. I was visiting my godson in England at the time."

"Speaking of which, why haven't I heard about that mysterious godson of yours before?"

Helena suddenly looked very embarrassed. She took a step back and looked everywhere except at Tony and blushed.

"Er, I kind of forgot."

"You _forgot_? What, that you had a godson, or just forgot to tell me?"

"Eh, both I guess."

"Wow, and I though _I _was irresponsible."

Harry glared at Tony's smirking face… and kicked him.

"Ow!" Tony exclaimed and held his knee where he had been kicked. He pouted and looked at Helena's smirking face.

"Ha ha." Harry said smugly.

Harry expected Tony to make some wisecrack reply, or maybe poke her ribs. What he _didn't_ expect Tony to do was grab his shoulder and kiss him. But alas, that was _exactly_ what happened.

Needless to say Harry was too surprised to reply, pull away or do _anything_ really. So before Harry could respond to the kiss, Tony had pulled away, while still holding on to Harry's shoulders. For a tense moment they just stared at one another, not doing anything. Then Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Tony beat him to it.

"I know, I know. You said you won't even give a guy a chance unless he's willing to commit, which I wasn't three months ago. But I've had time to think about this, like I had three months in a god damn cave, with no distractions whatsoever. Er, when I say distractions I mean other women…"

"Tony, breathe!"

Tony took a deep breath and went on a little calmer.

"My point is when I was without any kind of company from the fairer sex, and had the threat of death hanging above me, I had time to really think about my life and I came to a conclusion. An epiphany, I suppose."

"And the conclusion would be?"

"That I want to be with you. Not just as friends, but lovers as well. I've had feelings for you pretty much since the beginning, I sure as hell was attracted to you, but I wasn't willing to give up my ways as a gigolo. So…"

Tony left the suggestion hanging.

"Aren't you forgetting one little detail?"

"Uh, I am?"

Harry looked at Tony pointedly.

"Oh! You mean that other secret you had. I thought about that as well, and came to a decision that I don't care."

"You don't even know what it is!"

"I still don't care."

Tony pulled Harry into another kiss. This time Harry responded immediately. Ah, well, he might as well enjoy this. It might not last too long, after all.

"Aren't you even curious?"

Harry asked after Tony pulled away from his lips and moved on to the neck.

"Mmm, yes quite…" Tony mumbled and kept on going about his business, obviously distracted.

"Well, don't you want to know?"

"Maybe later…" Tony mumbled, still distracted with the neck, and his hands were wandering quite freely.

"Keep on going like that and you'll probably find out anyway."

That got Tony's attention.

"Hu? You've got a scar you're embarrassed about?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I've got plenty of scars. None too huge to feel overly embarrassed about. However, there _is_ something that's… _different_ about my body, kinda."

"And you're ashamed of it."

It was more of a statement than a question. Harry shrugged.

"I dunno, but it's something that I'm not very keen on a lot of people knowing, definitely."

"But it doesn't stop you from living a normal life?"

Harry started laughing.

"It's probably what _enables_ me to live a semblance of a normal life."

"It can't be _that_ bad then."

Tony smiled and hugged Helena. After parting he looked her in the eyes and asked.

"So, what is it?"

Harry looked at his feet, feeling a foreboding feeling of doom approaching. He had _no_ idea how to blurt it out something like 'I'm half boy', 'I have a pecker', or 'you're not the only one with a penis' (the last one would probably finish the terrorists' job and kill him). It would be easier to let action do the talking. So that's what he did.

Harry took Tony's hand and put it in his underwear.

However the moment he did he immediately wished he hadn't. As it is he's actually (not surprisingly; considering…) still a virgin; and having someone touch you _there_ for the first time is more overwhelming than Harry would've guessed. But he didn't take back his actions, just looked around the room, anywhere but at Tony, and let the news sink in.

For a while Tony did just nothing. Just held his hand where it had been placed with a blank look on his face. Then he moved it a little bit further, beyond the male bits. Harry gasped in surprise and… other feelings.

"I've been practically pining after you for **two years.** You think I'm going to let something like _this_ in my way now?" Said Tony, all the while sliding his fingers even further, towards the female parts.

Harry gasped again, feeling overwhelmed. Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed having their private and most intimate bits touched for the first time by another person?

When Tony's other hand started sneaking up Harry's blouse, Harry grabbed onto Tony and Apparated.

"_Whooah_…!" Tony exclaimed and took a few steps back after suddenly being squeezed through a thin tube, and when it was over the lights went out.

"Oh, whoops, I forgot. You've never Apparated before."

Tony looked around and discovered that the lights hadn't gone out; he was no longer in his workshop but in his bedroom.

"Talk later." Was all he said while ripping Harry's blouse off.

* * *

The morning arrived. And Tony felt very comfortable. It was warm and soft and there was a really nice fragrance tickling his nose. Tony opened his eyes and found himself in his bedroom. He turned his head to the right and discovered another body asleep next to him. He maneuvered himself a little closer to look at Helena's sleeping face. Then he got off the bed and walked to the bathroom. He opened the tap on the sink and splashed water to his face. Taking a deep breath he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Yesterday was all about lust and desire. He didn't have any time to assess the actual situation in a calm, rational (not to mention logical) manner. Now that he did he found himself slightly spooked. That Helena had a… _penis_… was an imperfection. And honestly he wasn't sure what to think about it.

He frowned and his eyes turned their gaze away from his face to his arc reactor. Then again, _he_ too had an imperfection on his person. Helena didn't look all that bothered by it, so why should he be bothered about hers?

Tony walked back to his bedroom to find some clothes. After that was done his gaze stopped on Helena's sleeping form. Her makeup was a little smeared but she still looked like a goddess in humanoid form. Tony felt serenity wash over him. Even if he completely honestly would have preferred her to be completely normal, this situation was something that he could become used to _eventually_. It was a small price to pay; because the truth still remained he wanted to be with Helena no matter what… probably.

For now, he was just going to see where this leads them.

Tony leaned over to kiss her cheek. When he pulled back Helena's sleepy eyes were open.

"Hey," She said blearily with a sleep riddled voice. "What time is it?" She asked while rubbing her eyes, causing the mascara to smear even more. Tony had to suppress a chuckle. On her, it looked endearing.

"It's early, you can sleep more. I'm going down to my workshop. There are some things I need to do."

"Mmkay." Helena replied while stretching her back.

Tony kissed her on the lips lightly (2) and left her to resume her slumber.

* * *

Harry woke up hours later. He stretched himself like a cat and sat up on the bed. He looked around only to find himself alone. He frowned until he vaguely remembered Tony telling him he's going to work.

It was a pretty view from this room, or at least it would be if he hadn't felt so nauseous. Groaning, he plummeted back into the covers. Harry pulled the cover over his head, not wanting to ever get up. (3)

Harry rolled over and noticed for the first time how sore his midsection was. Though this soreness made Harry giggle a bit. The slight pain reminded Harry of what happened the day before, and how he had been intimate with Tony! Putting a hand to his stomach Harry hauled himself out of bed and to the bathroom.

Once Harry was in the bathroom the soreness and nausea were the least of his problems. By the name of Merlin, Morgana and Mordred he hoped it had been too dark for Tony to have seen him this morning. He looked like a panda! Harry wasted no time washing the smeared makeup off his face.

Once his face was clean of smeared blotches of color, Harry did everything else that made him look presentable before going back to the bedroom to dress, only to discover the blouse he had worn the day before had been torn to shreds. An admirable feat considering it was made out of thin but extremely durable magical silk, and thus not repairable by spells. Harry rummaged for one of Tony's shirts to wear with a pout on his lips. After that was done he went downstairs to find Tony.

And he did find Tony where he had said he would be, but he wasn't alone.

"Hello, Pepper."

"Helena? You're here?"

Harry looked behind Pepper to Tony who was unhooking himself of something that looked like it should belong in a hospital.

"_What_ are you two doing? Performing surgery?"

Tony snorted a laugh and Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Pepper was helping me switch my antique arc reactor with a new improved model. I would have asked you, but I didn't want to wake you."

"Wake her?" Pepper echoed and took a long look at Tony's shirt that Harry was wearing. "You didn't!" She exclaimed after coming up with the obvious conclusion.

"Didn't what?" Tony replied with an innocent look that looked anything _but_ innocent.

Pepper exhaled with an aura of despair about it. "I don't want to know, I don't want to hear, I don't want to _deal_ with this!" She exclaimed overdramatically while waving her arms towards the heavens.

"Ew, Pepper, what the hell happened to your hands?" Asked Harry with a frown when he noticed the grossness on her hands.

"Thanks for reminding. This is the residue of whatever was in that hole in Mr. Stark's chest. I had to reach _in_ to change his reactors." Pepper whined, making Tony's lips twitch in amusement.

"Rather you than me, mate." Harry said with a shrug.

Pepper pouted, clearly having expected more sympathy from her friend. All of a sudden a devilish look crossed her face, making shivers go through Harry's spine. Pepper raised her hands while still wearing that shit eating grin. All of a sudden she started advancing on Harry with her slimy weapon.

"Oh no, you're _not_ going to touch me with _that_. Seriously Pepper, cut it out. Ew, _ewewew_!"

Harry took off running while Pepper chased with outreached slime-covered hands. Harry was running around Tony's workshop while screeching a mantra of 'ew ew ew'; and Tony was trying not to crack a rib from laughing too hard.

Harry had the advantage of being barefoot, while Pepper was in her usual stiletto heels, but that didn't mean she was any less deadly. They ran around for a full two minutes and would have probably kept on running hadn't Pepper accidentally slapped her hands against Tony's bare chest when Harry pulled the man in front of him as a shield.

"Okay, now it's enough of this." Tony said as he looked at the splat of goo on his skin.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Stark." Pepper apologized sheepishly. No matter what their relationship was, he was still her boss.

"What do you want me to do with this?" Pepper asked as she picked up the old arc reactor.

"That? Destroy it. Incinerate it." Tony said nonchalantly and tapped his new arc reactor in his chest, making metallic clicking sounds.

"You don't want to keep it?" Pepper asked uncertainly. Harry echoed her thoughts, that thing had been his lifeline for goodness knows how long.

"Pepper, I've been called many things. Nostalgic is not one of them."

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?" Pepper said with her old professional tone, but this time it had nostalgic tone in it, ironically.

"That will be all, Miss Potts." Tony replied in a similar manner.

Harry had a half a mind asking Pepper to give him the reactor as a souvenir but the look in Pepper's eyes stopped him. No matter what Tony said, Pepper was not going to destroy it. So Harry let Pepper hang on to it.

Harry watched Pepper leave, and then turned back to Tony only to witness him throwing away anything that was remotely 'nostalgic'. Harry rolled his eyes but smiled anyway.

"So, now that you're back and have shut down your weapons manufacturing division- and bedded me as a bonus- what else is in your agenda?"

"A few things. You look great in my shirt by the way."

Harry smiled at the random compliment. He started advancing on Tony.

"Thanks. But anyway, are you going to tell me what you're planning to do now that you've practically fired yourself. Weapon development was what you did, after all."

By now Harry was standing next to Tony.

"Uh, fired, did you have to put it that way? But yes, I have something I want to work on."

"Going to tell me what it is? Or are you going to keep me in suspense?"

Tony wrapped his arms around Harry.

"For now. But I will show you later on."

"K."

Harry managed to say before Tony kissed him.

"Mmm. You sure you don't mind this?" Harry said while pointing downward. Tony shrugged.

"It'll take awhile to get used to, I admit, but it'll be fine. Besides I have actually slept with a man."

Harry's eyes widened comically and he took a step back.

"No!" He exclaimed disbelievingly.

"Yeah." Tony said with another nonchalant shrug.

"No way! How'd that happen? Wait, let me guess. You got completely hammered, right?"

"No, actually, I was completely sober. I was merely eighteen and curious."

"Really? Did you top or bottom?"

Tony gave Harry a long look.

"I wasn't _that_ curious."

Harry giggled and hugged Tony close.

* * *

Tony had said he wanted to pay a visit to Rhodey and Harry really needed his own clothes, not to mention to check up on his plants. So they agreed to meet up later that evening at Tony's place. Tony had promised to show Harry what he was going to do now that he had all this time on his hands.

But when Harry got home the euphoric happiness he felt started to disperse a little. Turned out he had overestimated his house-elves, and their abilities to take care of his plants. The plants weren't dying and they weren't really that unhealthy either, but they weren't _thriving_ like they used to when Harry took care of them.

Shrugging the annoyance he felt at himself off, Harry put on ordinary work clothes and went to see what he was able to do to ensure his beloved greenery's happiness.

Harry had forgotten how he had used to loose track of time while working, and if he had a previous engagement he always made sure to have Kreatcher remind him of time. This time he had forgotten to tell Kreatcher he was planning to go back to Tony's sometime in the evening.

He was working fervently and making his Giggling Daisies swoon in happiness when he noticed how dark it was outside.

"Kreatcher!" _Pop _"Kreatcher, what time is it?"

"It be almost 10 in the evening, mistress."

"Shit."

"Mistress is distressed. What make mistress sad, mistress?"

"I'm supposed to go to Tony's house today again! Damn, I wanted to be there earlier, and I can't go to him while covered in mud."

Harry said while practically sprinting towards a bathroom. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice the shine that took over Kreatcher's eyes.

"Mistress be visiting mister Stark this late, even after be entire morning and yesterday with mister Stark?" Tears welled up in the ancient house-elf's eyes.

"Kreatcher so happy for his poor lonely mistress! Mistress not be lonely anymore!"

And Kreatcher wandered off, plans of wedding cakes, dressed and baby cribs already in his old-oriented head.

* * *

Harry did his best to make himself presentable as fast as possible. Although it wasn't likely for Tony to go to bed before 11.30, he didn't want to take any chances. Plus he wanted a chance to actually spend a little time with him this evening.

So without much further ado, Harry Apparated straight into Tony's workshop.

"_Jesus fucking Christ!_" Tony jumped and exclaimed.

"Don't _do_ that. You scared the crap out of me!"

Harry was a little confused.

"Uh, what did I do exactly?"

"That teleportation thingy. Can't you just, I dunno, do it a little less suddenly and not so loudly?"

"Oh, you mean my Apparation startled you? Sorry, it does tend to get a little loud when I'm in a hurry and don't concentrate as much as I should."

"Do everyone feel that uncomfortable constriction feeling when they're teleported."

"It's called _Apparation_, not teleportation, and yes, they do."

"How can you stand to do that all the time? The one time you took me with you was one time too many for me."

"Ehe, yeah, it takes awhile to get used to. But you will… after about the 200th time."

Harry smiled and walked over to give Tony a kiss. What was intended to be a peck turned into something more passionate when Tony refused to let go. When they parted Harry let out a happy sigh.

"So, you were going to show me your masterplans?"

"Killjoy." Tony muttered but smirked nonetheless.

"The plans are still in the making." He said and showed Harry to a holographic image of what appeared to be a high-tech mechanical full-body suit.

"You're building a… mecha?"

"An automated battle armor, yep."

Harry took a look at Tony.

"And I thought you didn't make weapons anymore."

Tony looked annoyed at tat comment.

"I don't. This isn't a weapon, Helena. Don't look at it as such."

"Then… how would you define it as?"

Tony gave Harry a cheeky grin.

"A high-tech piece of equipment."

Harry burst out laughing.

"I know you had three months of soul searching to do, so what made you come up with this?"

"C'mere."

Tony curled his fingers a few times in a gesture to call Harry to a computer monitor.

"See this?" He asked and showed Harry an image of another suit. This one did not look nearly as sophisticated as the one on the holographic monogram.

"Uh, it's quite… crude. Oh dear god, don't tell me…"

"Yep, this is how I escaped."

"How the hell did you manage to pull that off? Weren't you being held hostage?"

"They thought I was building them a missile."

"_Oh_."

Harry smiled (yet again) and ran his hand over Tony's MIT sweater. He liked that sweater, it was nice. Shaking his head out of his random thoughts he looked Tony in his face.

"You're working with this alone? Would've thought you would've liked to add Rhodey to this lil' party."

"I talked to him today, but he didn't even want to hear me out. I think he thinks I am suffering from post-traumatic stress or something."

"I certainly hope you don't. That can be quite serious."

"I think his exact words were that I need time to get my mind right."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"You look as sane as ever to me. Though that's not saying much."

Tony rolled his eyes at Helena's cheeky response.

"What _are _you doing with the suit anyway?"

"Umm, I don't know?" Tony offered. "But it's something I have to do."

Harry didn't ask any more.

* * *

**PS: I am looking for a proofreader for this story. Not really a beta, I'd like to have the characters and choices of words as they are, but someone who will check my grammar, spelling and punctuation (in other words, a proofreader). Please let me know if anyone (good) is interested.**

**PPS: Also, for Iron Man geeks out there. I tried and tried as hard as I could, but I could NOT find Tony's birth date. I tried looking and all I found out was that he was born in Long Island, NY. An unreliable source also claimed his birth date to be February 3****rd****. I'm rolling with that, because it fits the timeline very well (this chapter takes place in June). So in this story Tony's Bday is Feb3. However you hardcore IM fans out there, if anyone knows, let me know if that's his real birth date.**

**1- One of the things that baffled me about the movie. Anyone notice how perfect RDJ's hair stayed throughout his entire stay (THREE FRIGGIN MONTHS) with the terrorist group? All that time he looked like he had just walked out of a salon. Doesn't make much sense :S**

**2****- Mwhahaha, domesticated life.**

**3****-** **This note is mainly to men and virgins. Harry is NOT pregnant, so don't confuse the nausea with morning sickness (not that it makes appearance that soon anyway). The feeling of nausea and soreness is very common for girls after they've just lost their virginity, or hadn't had sex in a very, **_**very**_** long time. It's mainly because their bodies are not used to such activities and go through a mild shock. I can't say if it's true as well with gay men (if there's one reading this story, I'd like to know ^.~).**

**Word count: 5632**

**Thank you for reading.**


End file.
